
“Nope, I’m the Gatemaster, as you can see.”
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“Dry here to open?” So it’s some kind of moisture-activated locking mechanism, where dehydration makes said mechanism weigh less and rise, thereby releasing the lock and opening the door?
Unless… oh wait, I see what it says now. Never mind, carry on.
~Not-”Not-So-Handy-Andy” Jack
Submitted by: Ben Finney

That’s right, Prius owners: if you were REALLY committed to conserving and helping the environment, you’d get rid of that costly and resource-consuming sheet metal and switch entirely to plastic wrap.
~Not-”Not-So-Handy-Andy” Jack

Being on hold, as frustrating for doors as it is for humans.
~Not-So-Handy Andy

The boss gets an office. And he’s better than you. Just look at how much better his door is. Oh, it’s a crappy door? Well YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A DOOR.
~NSHA
Submitted by: MatiasAkea

Also an effective guard against escaping socks.
~NSHA
Submitted by: howard weiss

Don’t worry, it just goes to his bed… room.
~NSHA