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Well no wonder they turn on us. We’re turning them into surly short order cooks. Quick, teach it to smoke a cigarette while it flips! – Ms. Fix-It

Favorite Comment: Les says,“Hal, flip the pancakes.” “I’m sorry Dave, I can’t flip your pancakes.”

Good Tuesday fixers! First of all, I want to say thank you to all of you; whether you’re one of my power users or a casual Fixer; you check in four times a day or once a month. You guys have taken my little site about duct tape and turned it into one of the most popular sites on the Cheezburger Network. TIFI has gone from an unruly infant into a well adjusted adult Internets. So, like every good parent, it’s time to stop wrapping my baby in bubble wrap and threatening my co-workers with stabby death should they dare to touch a unmoderated comment hair without my permission.

Starting tomorrow, the site will fall into the extremely capable hands of Frankie Fix-It. I’ll still be around, hovering in the background like a ghost, OR, if you’ll miss me that much, I’ll be taking care of my new babies over at…

GraphJam
Derp
So Much Pun
and
This Is Photobomb

I really, truly thank you for making me a part of your Internet day.

- Ms. Fix-It aka Donna

Happy Thursday Fixers! I hope my fellow Americans enjoyed their long weekend and have the potato salad gut and raccoon eyes to prove it. In honor of this past weekend’s celebration, I thought today we’d look at one of the “fixes” Jefferson made to the Declaration of Independence.

The above passage might look innocuous, or at the very least like the rough draft of a seventh grade English paper, but with the help of the latest Hyperspectral technology, historians have been able to see what lies beneath dun dun duuun.

In the heady days after deciding King George was being, “totally unfair…he won’t even drop us off at the mall AND he took our cell phones…” (WARNING: American grievances with Britain may have been changed to reflect a more modern audience), Thomas Jefferson penned one of the most famous, “I hate you. You aren’t my REAL father!” letters in history. In fact, he was in such a rush he either momentarily forgot he was no longer a subject, or actively wrote down the wrong word just for the cathartic release of erasing it with the word citizen. Either way, technology now shows that the concept of being a citizen was still gelling in the minds of colonies.

As always, if YOU have an idea for a future Historical Thursday, please email it to me at thereifixedit@gmail.com.

Images courtesy of: Library of Congress and information courtesy of: BoingBoing

Happy Thursday Fixers! Phew, what with all the war talk these last couple weeks, on top of the nigh improbable inevitable doomsday glinting at us from 2012, I thought today we might take a look at how one Canadian by the name of Bruce Beach is making sure humanity survives the nuclear holocaust. Take a look at this swanky fallout entrance.

You see, it all started in 1980 when Beach, a radiological scientific officer, decided that his line of work was going to kill us all. I can only imagine what began as a guilt ridden hobby ended up blossoming into a full on obsession. Over the next thirty years, Beach and his friends and family used 42 decommissioned school buses to form a 10,000 square foot underground city with enough room and supplies to house over 300 people. They then poured thousands of pounds of concrete over it, which had to be kept damp for months in order to set without cracking, and topped it off with fourteen feet of soil.

Beach proudly states that this homemade bunker can withstand anything short of a direct nuclear strike; though if movies have taught us anything, it’s that no one bombs Canada and it’s too cold to sustain zombies. But some of his work is just awe-inspiring in a can’t look away kind of way. For example, after passing through those Dharma-esque doors, inhabitants travel down the conveyor corridor…

…and can visit the men’s washroom…

…the slightly understaffed fire station…

…and the scariest dentist chair I’ve ever seen outside of a horror film.

But that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Seriously. Click here to see a detailed plan of the bunker’s interior. Or click here to see an interview he gave to Penn and Teller. (Yes THAT Penn and Teller) Really, there is just too much O_O for me to cover in one post.

All my information and images courtesy of Beach’s Ark II website, which also details his plan for after we emerge from the buses into our very own Fallout universe.

As always, if YOU have an idea for a future Historical Thursday, please email it to me at thereifixedit@gmail.com.

Happy Thursday Fixers! After last week’s post about the lengths the USA went through to stay hidden during WWII, Fixer Gerald M brought to my attention that it was far from the only country with deception up their sleeves. So I thought today we’d continue the theme and look at the works of Jasper Maskelyne.

A third generation magiciain and illusionist, Jasper brought deception and bait and switch to the field of war. Part of the North Africa A Team Force, he adopted the strategy of Hide and Survive. Not the most rousing motto, but it’s hard to keep morale high when you’re dead. The above photograph is the final version of his “dummy tank” project, meant to deter the enemy. Clearly if you have 100 tanks just hanging around outside your base you aren’t worth the human loss sustained from attacking. Below is a photograph of a prototype dummy tank being transported.

However, making the world’s most awesome birthday party balloons was not his only trick. While dummy tanks diverted the enemies attention, the British needed a way to keep the movement and position of their REAL tanks a secret. Enter: the tread eraser.

Of course, just because the enemy can’t find you on the ground, doesn’t mean they won’t take to the air as well. Not to worry, Jasper had that one covered too. He engineered spinning cone mirrors that when placed on the ground would reflect light in a nine mile radius; making it difficult for German aircraft to figure out where best to aim.

Information and images courtesy of MaskelyNeMagic.com and Channel 4.

Do you have an idea for a future Historical Thursday article? Send it to me at thereifixedit@gmail.com.

Happy Thursday Fixers! Yesterday I used Google Earth to find my house and was saddened to see our Internet Overlords have dropped the ball. Not only was my house blurry, but our fence wasn’t even up; meaning Google hadn’t been by in years. For shame. But at least it was there, you know? It’s not like it looked like this:

Really pretty, boring old suburbia right? Not quite. This is actually an aerial photo taken during WWII of the Lockheed Aircraft Plant in Burbank, California. Turns out having the Japanese bomb one of our military installations put the rest of the west coast ill at ease. Lockheed was a large target, so the government enlisted the help of their neighbors at Disney to help design a realistic way to hide in plain sight. What they came up with was nothing short of brilliant. Hand painted tarps were raised to cover 45 buildings spread across 550 acres, giving the illusion nothing here was worth a Japanese fighter pilot’s time. While underneath, THIS was happening:

While the tarps did the job of covering the most noticeable military buildings, other methods were used to make the illusion come together. Chicken wire and feathers dyed green became bushes and trees, factory air ducts were fashioned to look like fire hydrants and workers hung laundry out behind the “cottages” to mimic everyday life.

Information and images courtesy of: Snopes.com and Aviation History

Do you have an idea for a future Historical Thursday article? Send it to me at thereifixedit@gmail.com.

Happy Thursday Fixers! This week, what with the gulf being one lightning storm from Armageddon, I thought we could look at when ocean accidents turn into something beneficial.

Way back in the day, January of 1992 to be exact, a freighter in the middle of the Pacific Ocean accidentally spilled it’s precious cargo into the sea. What cargo was that? 29,000 rubber duckies. I have scoured the Internets to bring you this dramatic reenactment photo:

Photo Courtesy Of: Tony Crescibene

Once oceanographers realized the runaway ducks were caught in the Subpolar Gyre, or ocean current as we would call it, they decided to use them to learn more about how currents flow and how far and fast the effects of ocean pollution travel. Since then, the ducks have been spotted all over the world and as of 2003 have completely circumnavigated the globe. Take that Magellan. The ducks have even earned a degree of fame with their journey being turned into a children’s novel by Eric Carle; author the The Hungry Caterpillar.

If you’re interested in the details of the ducks’ journey, or would like to know the best place to keep an eye to the sea for a wayward duck, I got my information from Rubaduck.com

Thursday again already Fixers? Time to dive into history!
This week I’m bringing you something a little closer to my own hometown; the Cavern Nite Club that ran in Bowling Green from the 1930s thru the 1960s. What’s so special about dance hall, you ask? It was air conditioned. Sweet, precious cold air was continuously pumped into the building year round…because it was built in a cave mouth. In a time when central air was a distant dream, this gimmick pulled in people from around the state.

Some kids enjoy a break from the dancing.

Sorry for the poor photo quality but my Photoshop skills at turning tiny images into impressive images is extremely limited.

The really cool thing here though is the strange coincidence of this club opening the same year Prohibition was repealed; no mean feat considering the 21st Amendment didn’t get singed into law until December 5th. So either Cavern Nite Club had the fastest construction crew in the country, or more likely, they just finally publicized their establishment.
Speakeasys were pandemic during Prohibition and a cave that sits 50 feet down, is covered by heavy brush and is only accessible by a rickety set of steps would be a prime location. Couple that with the local town being known as Little Chicago at the time(yes I know, pretty much every small town east of the Mississippi held that title at one point) and it seems the owners took the opportunity to make more money and jumped on it. Below is a photo of the cave as it as been restored today; the original steps to the cave floor can still be seen in the background.

All information and images courtesy of: Lost River Cave

Good Thursday Fixers! If you haven’t been under a rock for the last couple of years, you’ve been bombarded by the incessant ‘SELL YOUR GOLD NOW’ commercials that have invaded not only our televisions but our movie theaters and Internets; replacing the sacred acai berry. But desiring money for gold, even if it means sacrificing a precious family heirloom, is nothing new. Take this bling for example:

Say hello to Golden Buddha, the world’s largest solid gold statue. He lives in Thailand, is approximately 700 years old, stands 10 feet tall and 12 feet wide and weighs somewhere around five and a half tons…or the weight of one fully grown Asian elephant. I’ll give you a minute to process that.
…
……

Yes, that’s right. Somehow this Buddha, who is currently worth about two hundred million dollars (US) survived war, greed and religious intolerance when so many other relics were melted down and refurbished. How does this happen? With another human trait; short memory. Apparently the same trait that keeps me from finding my car keys every time I leave the house can also work on entire populations.

In the 17th century the Burmese invaded Thailand. The Thai king knew if there is one thing invading armies love more than burning, it’s pillaging. So he ordered Buddha to be covered in plaster and had it moved to a remote temple so it wouldn’t look like anything worth stealing.

Artistic representation of what Ms. Fix-It thinks a plaster covered gold Buddha looks like.

Image Credit: Indigo Goat

Whew. The only problem was, a mere year later when Thailand repelled the Burmese occupation, they’d already forgotten about the giant statue made of gold. And we say goldfish have bad memories. So it sat in the temple until the 1950s when it was finally decided that this giant ugly statue had to go. Oddly enough, it was REALLY heavy and the crane lifting it broke, revealing the gold underneath the plaster and reminding us all that when you hide something, don’t hide it so well that even YOU can’t find it.

Today, Golden Buddha has been restored to a place of honor and you can visit him at Wat Traimit.

Information Courtesy Of: Thai Ways Magazine and Wikipedia

Afternoon Fixers! If growing up watching Captain Planet taught me anything, it is that heart is a stupid power pollution is bad. Unfortunately the Planeteers didn’t exist prior to 1990 so how was Cleveland to know that pumping toxic sludge into the river was a bad idea? Oh I don’t know, the raging fires might have been a clue.

Yes, the river itself is on fire. This image is from 1952 but there were many, many more watery blazes which didn’t culminate into anything resembling concern until after the fire in 1969. Below is an image to give you a better idea of what exactly was feeding the fire.

Luckily, the fine people of Ohio finally realized that water catching fire wasn’t normal and instituted some changes; the most kludge worthy by far being the plastic tarp.
Basically, the mayor of Cleveland decided that in order to garner more support for cleaning up the river, he should make people want to use it. So on two of the beaches the city put up what amounted to a giant plastic tarp and anchored it to the riverbed. Then they pumped chlorine into the “pool” until the water level was clean enough for swimming. I beg you Fixers, if you have an old family photo of this please send it in for the gods of Google are being finicky.

The plan worked. Combined with growing concern for the environment in general, the Cuyahoga River fires led to sweeping reforms including the Clean Water Act and the creation of the EPA. Today, most of the river is within safe levels of pollutants, the fish population is soaring and the slick sludge reminiscent of the Ankh River is no more.

Thanks to Green City Blue Lake, Timelines.com, Cleveland Memory and Fixer The Deathbunnie for the information. One more photo and a vintage video about the problem after the jump!
Click to see more… »