Why Spend Money on Curtains?

"With my wife wanting to pick out curtains for our apartment and me getting tired of being woken up by the sun every morning I figured "curtains" consisting of trash bags and aluminum foil would help move her along to making a proper selection. Also doubles as a way to discourage guests as she doesn't want anyone seeing this hack job."

Not to mention it protects your against aliens reading your minds! Bonus!