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Jury Riggers Unite!
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No, no. This is actually a well-known anti-gravity device. Strap the bread to the cat, and drop. Notice that the bread / cat system hovers a few inches off the floor, spinning rapidly.
Sheesh, you people with your TRIVIAL ideas for infinite energy. Anti-gravity is so much cooler. Get with the program.
I think you’re confused good sir. The anti-gravity device occurs when you apply the bread butter side up on the belly of the cat, or commonly referred to as cat belly bread. While cat back bread generates perpetual motion.
This comes from an OMNI magazine contest in the 1980s; the point was to invent a “scientific” fact. For instance, one was that the reason yawning is contagious is that one person yawning changes the air pressure, so everyone else yawns to equalise it again.
Why do you need the cat at all? Just butter both sides of the bread and you’re sorted.
Very well thought out.
*Tries it* Damn . . .
*Repeats experiment 99 more times.* Damn x 99.
The butter side is attracted to anything with a polarity of floor, while the unbuttered side is repellant to floor polarity. When both sides are buttered, the attraction is equal on both sides. The effect will be similar to flipping a magnet at a fridge.
This is also why the cat/butter scenario is actually ineffective. With both sides effectively repellant to the floor the buttercat would simply move away from the floor until it found a non repellant surface such as a plate or pile of clean laundry.
If the buttercat were to be strapped/restrained over the repellant surface, it would simply rotate onto it’s side until all surfaces were equally repellant.
Strap two magnets together with the S polarity facing out, put them on a stick where they could rotate and hold over another S polarity magnet. Same concept.
Learn your physics people, I’m sick of this pseudo intelligent flimflam people pass around to sound smarter. Yawning is the real science. One yawn creates at least 2 more, if we could find a way to harness this power, we could literally CREATE energy!
It all makes so much sense now!
Troll Science at its best
This may very well be older than the internet. Whatever editor allowed this to the front page should be fired.
Yes, because we all know that jokes should only ever be told one time. Future use is forbidden…
SOPA much?
From his volunteer job?
Buuuut: If you attach them to a generator they will stop falling to the ground hence eliminating any need for rotation.
Thermodynamics restored. You’re welcome, Universe.
Exactly what I was going to say. The cat’s not going to rotate with that stuck up its bum (would you?) unless it’s very well-lubricated. And if it’s that well lubricated there wouldn’t be any torque to transfer energy.
It still could transfer torque, haven’t you ever heard of viscous coupling?
Just stick a superconducting magnet up the cat’s bum to connect it to the generator. Figuring out how to keep the cat from freezing is best let to an intern…..
But you can let the generator free in air, hovering by the cat bread
Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that. And maybe another catbread on the other side for ballance *scribbles weitd notes on his desk*
We also need to figure out the optimum ratios of cat, bread, and butter. What’s more, what would happen if you buttered the cat’s feet?
if you buttered the cat’s feet, it would very surely land on it’s feet, fulfilling both axioms.
Then the generator would simply rotate with the cat, thus producing no energy. You would need some kind of external force similar to the tail rotor of a helicopter to counteract the rotation.
How about having another butter cat affixed to the other end of the generator oriented in the opposite direction so that its relative direction of rotation is the opposite of the first. This should create the rotation needed.
Just fit the cat with turbine fins and allow him to spin freely… if I could draw, it would look just like a gleaming little metal ballerina skirt, thus enhancing the total awesomeness of the internet for at at least a millisecond.
Originally postulated in the Journal of Irreproducable Results in the 80s or 90s ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox )
24 hour wiki block… apparently they are scarred of SOPA too…
Put that over a fire and you have toast and a roast. Infinite energy’s got nothing on an empty stomach…
The flaw in the theory is that the cat will eventually die and won’t be able to land on its feet. That might be 5 minutes after spinning the cat in high velocity.
Correct
A magazine of sorts that could replemish cats as needed should be built. at the same time, to most fertile cats could be selected for breeding such that the supply could be replimeshied. cats unsuitable for breeding would be given the the butter toast track (workers)
First one would need to determine the death rate of each cat and replimish as needed. given this you could have the optimal que of cats.
Each dead cat , and toast, could be recylced as feed for the workers and breeders.
Presto – alternative energy !
* waits for peta death threat*
What if the cat lands on its side, though?
Well, that is a good start. Now let us replace the bread with a poptart and launch the cat into space.
But not before giving that cat a big bowl of Lucky Charms cereal.
already been done.. usually results in rainbows.
That is a wonderful contraption you have there, really.
But what I need right now is a way to remove my morning coffey from my screen, keyboard and everywhere else it got sprayed upon viewing this post.
This joke is like 400 years old.
Some people are younger; sorry if you’re not.
Apparently, someone tried this.
After the cat was dropped, it twisted around so that the bread moved to its belly, and after landing on its feet, the cat promptly laid down.
Equilibrium restored.
Exactly what I’ve long expected to happen. When the cat lands on its feet, the bread/toast has not yet landed – it’s tied to a cat! In accordance with Murphy’s Law, it is then expected that the cat will go and roll around or lie down and smear the butter/jam/etc on the surface it will ruin the most.
Tried with my cat. She ate the bread..
she did not ;^)
Some one turn this into a gif.
Begin with assembly and proceed to generation.
I tried this and my cat landed on its side.
not many people know this but this is how the nyan cat propulsion and rainbow generation system is powerd
Though the Cat-Butter system would eventually reach a state of equilibrium at which point rotation would stop and hence energy production would cease. Additionally for the forces this relies on to be in place the system must be in state of free fall which means it must be in orbit. but at that point how would you keep the generator from turning with the Cat-Butter system. Overall this Idea is poorly conceived and impractical.
OK: Attach magnets to the cats sides:
Place the cat in a cylinder of coils and let it induct the charge.
No shaft up its bum to halt its spinning or falling.
Problem solved.
Instead use a Schrödingers cat, a tetraspatially sliced bread array and mooshroom butter. Now attach a prismatic poptart gyrator and a small music box. Now you’ve got a ¤³ dimensional quantofel that can assault any desired target with silly music, yesterday.
Flaw, first off the cat or the toast has to land. If they are affixed to the generator then they are not touching the ground.
I have performed many experiments to test this principle.
Notes from observation :
If the cat lands on it’s feet then the toast has not yet landed and therefore can be any way up it chooses.
Additional notes from observation :
Cat’s have sharp claws and teeth and do not like being strapped to buttered toast/ bread/ bagels. They do however like salt and vinegar crisps (potato chips) and clawing the s**t out of men in white lab coats.
But that’s a perpetual motion machine! I guess you didn’t listen to Homer.
Check out this PETA made: http:/meat.org
Make this work and you’ll be sitting in the catbread seat!
This joke is 20 years old…
Legend #1: A cat always land on it’s feet.
Status: FALSE!
I’ve seen plenty of cats fall on the back, side, nose or ass first.
Legend #2: A butered toast always land butered side down.
Status: FALSE!
It depends from how high you drop it and how you drop it.
What?! You mean it’s . . . not true?
*sad face*