Submitted by: jimster via Submit a Kludge!
Why is it always lava hot on the edges but still frozen in the middle!? – Ms. Fix-It
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Jury Riggers Unite!
Les on How It’s Made: Wooden La… keldor on Hungarian Heating Miven on Seemed Like a Good Idea at The… Urh on Have an Issue? Here’s a… Miven on Colombian Blend Left, Decaf… Miven on Containing Your Work Miven on Objects on Highway Are Stupide… Miven on Have an Issue? Here’s a… Miven on Maka Pot barzuk on The Only Reason To Go
Reduce Reuse Recycle ReWTF?
Reheat
Oh come on – if you’re gonna use a Jim Gaffigan joke, at least use properly…
When the mailman has to walk that far to get to your house at least they can warm up a snack.
Around here rural postal carriers don’t walk anywhere. Assuming they bother to deliver a package at all, they sit in front of your house and lay on the horn. I tell everyone who wants to send me something to use fedex. It has better odds of surviving the trip.
How big is your dog that runs loose? Thousands of rural carriers are bitten every year.
ding… mail is done
no flag? FAIL
is there a setting for outgoing mail?
Outgoing mail goes through SMTP: Simple Microwave Transfer Protocol
Many don’t have a flag. I just hope the door release is robust… Besides, the address has been 86′d
This isn’t what I had in mind when I said to 86 the broken microwave.
Santa is no longer satisfied with this COD (cookies on delivery) scheme. Now he wants kids to prepay and he wants his payment to still be warm when it arrives at the North Pole.
Oh.my. I have a mailbox falling off a cedar post…and an old microwave waiting for bulk pickup day.
think think think…
Here we see a feral microwave, having reverted to it’s scavenger tendencies after being cruelly abandoned by it’s human owners. Woe be it to the unwary mail carrier who feeds it, as the feral appilances rapidly lose their fear of people and have been see stalking joggers and small children.
Should you fail to feed it regularly, it will use its perch as a lookout point to scan the grass surrounding it. While some had theorized that it would mostly scavenge roadkill and leftovers, there is evidence that it’s not beyond leaping on unsuspecting wild hot pockets…
That’s why you’re supposed to cage them up in your kitchen.
I KNOW RIGHT!?!!? IT HAPPENED TO ME!! I HAVE FREAKIN SCARS!!!
I long for the old days when mailmen only had to worry about wild dogs and not carnivorous microwaves.
Mailbox baseball was better without the scalding.
Receptacle for express mail.
No, no, this is actually the 86 hole on a Dali-themed golf course.
This goes well with their home on the range.
Snerk!!
& for Scooter also ;-.
Actually, this is an answer to what to do with all that junk mail.
NUKE IT!
Looks like Cletus finally got himself a Hotmail account.
Oh how I missed you dono
Chief? Agent 86 here. Listen…as you know, I’m out in the field on assignment. I can’t talk too loud or I’ll blow my cover. I’m supposed to be intercepting some mail meant for a rural KAOS outpost, but I grabbed the microwave disguise by mistake. … Yes, it IS an embarrassing oversight. I’m trying to make it work, but the sooner you can send Agent 99 over with the mailbox outfit, the better!
In other words, the microwave is set on Max.
(sorry about that, Chief)
Don’t get smart with me, mister!
What we have here is a nice man’s mailbox – he puts cup of coffee every night for his mailman and the mailman revenges for the cheap instant junk as drinking it with the delicious pie mama send to that poor idiot.
Oh, cool. This’ll save me the time it used to take to sparkify those free AOL CD’s in the kitchen’s microwave.
Do microwaves kill anthrax?
Jethro finally decided to set up Hotmail, but he can’t understand why he’s not receiving any email.
Doh! Just saw the previous Hotmail post. I’m gonna go…uh…check my inbox now. I think there’s a TV dinner inside it.
redneck hotmail.
…no wait, then the microwave’d be on fire
And there’d be at least three others abandoned and rusting in that overgrown lawn.
pan the camera a bit to the right…
New microwave oven, $25 at Wal Mart.
New mailbox, $29 at Lowes.
They saved $4 on this decision.
As far as I’m concerned, the grand champeens of mailbox originality and inventiveness have to go to rural Australians. They call them “letterboxes”.
http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/letterboxes.htm
http://www.around-oz.com/best_in_oz/letterboxes/index.htm
Yeah, never quote Jim in vain. Or else i will destroy your mouth, so everything tastes like rubber for a month.
“The new ’86 Series’ microwaves from RonCo! The only microwave to scientifically prove to be capable of cooking away your junk mail, and giving testicular cancer to passersby! And your mailman thoguht he only needed to worry about dog! No more! Act now to secure your very own 86 Series
microwaves!”
“RemotepowerswitchandextensioncordnotincludeddonotstickheadhandsorotherextremetiesintomicrowavedonotlookdirectlyintomicrowaveuseasmailboxrecommendedforrednecksonlyandillegalinmoststatesunlessotherwisenotedwearappropriatesafetygearwhencollectingmailifyouusethisasamailboxyouneedtoseeapsychiatristasyoumayhaveseriousmentalproblemsRonCoisnotliableforanydamagecausedinthiswaypricesmayvarysubjecttoavailability.
See store for details”
darn!
that wasnt supposed to go out of the comment box!
And here we see the Domestic Microwave, which, upon removal of smaller, more docile version of the full-sized Convection Oven. As young circuit boards, they are rounded up on the range, tagged, and branded.
Sooo…no favorite comment for this picture? That’s two times in a week. Weird. Ms. Fix-It must have a lot going on or we all need to step up our game!
Just be careful you don’t step up the game of “chards” I have laid out on my hardwood floor. If I can get my King & Queen on the right squares I’ll have a good shot at a Royal Flush.
Chess + cards = chards? I like it!
Notice that the microwave is *off*, indicating that the owners have moved out from high electricity bills.
Introducing the evolution of snail mail. SnailMail 2.0(tm) from your USPS. Insert your mail and zing, it is instantly decoded and recoded on the other end.
And here we see contestant #86 in the free-range microwave competition.
Ding! Fries are done!
Remove desired mail and voilà! Instant junk mail incinerator.
Ding! Hotmail.com
Actually, microwaves heat from the inside first, just thought I’d point that out. The caption appears to be wrong
Actually , one of his lethers just was really hot! It was the Playboy magazine. COMMENT FAIL’