They Attack In Packs To Bring Down Large Prey
Submitted by: dunno source via Submit a Kludge!
Moments later the flock retreated, leaving nothing but the skeletal carcass of the hapless van. – Ms. Fix-It
Favorite Comment: Fixer bob_super says, “The result of a disastrous cross-breeding experiment, the African Bicycle has proven to be an ever-spreading plague. Initially intended to be more resistant to road hazards than the local variety, the African Bikes are a major threat to cars passing by, that they take down with thousands of tiny scratches. Numerous wrecks have already happened and scientists are watching in fear as the Tour de France, height of their breeding season, approaches. Less aggressive local bikes, which usually ding cars mostly when threatened, are no match.”
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Ahh, or is it the rare “cyclist mom”? Much like the Soccer Mom who carts around the whole team, this one does much the like….
A traffic cone patiently awaits nearby for the retreat of the bikes, knowing that a scavenged meal of the less savory bits is soon to come.
Little does the cone know that it’s been bolted to the ground and the scraps will be tantalizingly just out of reach.
So that’s where my bike went.
Leap Frog: You’re doing it wrong.
This should feature on Overkill 9000 too!
Once again firing up the electromagnet at the BMX championship proved to be a lucrative operation.
This is like those killer ants in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
no Indiana Jones movie had killer ants.
…and no officer, these bikes just attacked my van. I don’t know where they came from. (as I live on a street where an unlocked bike will be stolen in broad daylight)
The most recent one did.
The result of a disastrous cross-breeding experiment, the African Bicycle has proven to be an ever-spreading plague. Initially intended to be more resistant to road hazards than the local variety, the African Bikes are a major threat to cars passing by, that they take down with thousands of tiny scratches. Numerous wrecks have already happened and scientists are watching in fear as the Tour de France, height of their breeding season, approaches. Less aggressive local bikes, which usually ding cars mostly when threatened, are no match.
And their horrid mating song…”Laaaaaaaaaaa la la la la la la la, Katamari Damacy…” *shudder*
At 3 dollars an axle, that toll fee is going to be painful…
[it's only a repeat if you're paying attention]
This is actually a common site in Texas, and they are always south bound. There must be a big market for stolen bikes from the USA in Mexico.
This van pictured here is plagued with a terrible parasite. Bikus kludgeus, or vicious van-eating shark, has been something of talk at the gas stations for years. The bike first prepares itself for it’s life cycle, by putting a tray on the victim. Then, the bike appears on this tray, seemingly hitching a ride. Then the bike lays it’s eggs on the victim, and the parent bike becomes scrap metal. The bikes children then hatch all over the victims backside, slowing it down by disrupting airflow and adding wait. The bikes eventually paralize the victim by starving it of gas, and eat the remains. The bikes may, however, be prevented from eating the “car”cass by being scared off by the tow truck, a large and powerful scavenger.
That is one mean Vanfro.
Nah, I bet, a big gust of wind off a semi, and it will prove to be a Toupée…
It’s a vicious cycle…well, several of them, actually.
It’s a Schwinn-swarm!
Are you sure it’s not a Huffiside?
Or perhaps Raleighroids?
The marketing of the new Schwinn “Piranha” went horribly awry one day, when a sacrificial Dodge Ram van wandered too close to the bike lane…
Tajikistan’s official Tour de France team vehicle
Sure this picture hasn’t been recycled?
Bike poaching at triathlons is really easy- there’s a huge selection and everybody’s too tired to chase after you. Just bring lots of rope, drive carefully and try not to draw attention to yourself.
Really? After the biking is done they can chase you for quite a few miles…
Glad you’re back though.
So…bicycles are really just van hair?
Just hit your brakes really fast on just about any street in downtown Portland, Oregon, and this is what you get.
Revenge for all the cars that have tried to run me over while I was crossing the street in the crossing lane.
Oh come on, it’s obvious what’s going on here. Those aren’t dozens of bikes on that van, it’s obviously a car wig. You know, a metal cover for cars suffering from van pattern baldness. Apparently, it prefers a sort of afro hair style.
and here we have the of interbreeding a MPV with an 80′s footballer
No officer, I bought all these bikes for my kids… I have no idea how every bike in the city got stolen today.
My mom. She’s just a sucker for yard sales.
Monstermagnet!
That van’s not fooling anyone, we can all see that’s a wig.
Only their hairdresser & body shop will know for sure…
Nobody stuffs phone booths any more. Today’s college students get off seeing how many bikes they can stick onto a Dodge van!
The bike swarm, after devouring an entire tractor trailer, was still hungry enough to jump a 10-foot concrete block wall, and take down a nearby Dodge van for dessert.
Ahhh… I saw this one last week on the show. It’s where the Duggers visit the Yellow truck yard.
Somewhere there’s a bunch of skinny guys in Spandex looking for this van.
Somehow I don’t think that this remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s “Birds” is going to be a success.
See – I told you that bikes were car-nivorous!
Honeybike colonies sometimes choose inconvenient places to build their new hive. You don’t want to mess with and anger a swarm of that size. It’s best to call an expert bikekeeper to come and move them to a more suitable location.
They’re going to Burning Man, the van is packed full of dirty hippies.
My first thought was one of those magnetic paperclip dispensers…
They always have a tangle mass of clips hanging off them.
Maybe this is a magnetic bike dispenser.
At least they put the orange cone out… someone might not notice and accidentally park too close.
looks to me that this was the result of some big bike auction (possible big city had surplus auction and this guy bought all the bikes) or they are being donated to charity or they are on the way to the scrapyard, I have seen this only once before, and the guy showed up with a flatbed truck and took all the bikes after a police surplus auction.
Vehicle chainmail. Enough said.
I drive by this van all the time, it’s near Hansen dam. Woot.
Looks like that van raids college campuses on breaks.
So THAT’S why the stores are running out of bikes,the bikes usually eat the stores if there’s to many.
Oh my, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many bicycle-related puns in one place before…
Is that the A-Team’s van???
I know that van, it parks on Glenoaks avenue by peoria In Sunland CA . haha I see it everyday. It has grown in bikes since then.
Pretty sure this is from Sun Valley, California, which incidentally features a plethora of junkyards.
I hope he drove backwards through a bunch of bikers. Because i for one am not for “Sharing the road”