There Is No Spoon
Submitted by: Mike via Submit a Kludge!
Somehow I was going to try and make a joke here about the Matrix and The Waterboy, but even my brain is rejecting this horrifying concept. In other news, why weren’t there any rednecks in The Matrix? – Ms. Fix-It
Favorite Comment: Fixer Indomitus says, “Sure, we all know the story about the fork that ran away with the spoon. But what they never tell us is how the fork disappeared without a trace and the spoon’s mangled body was found a week later wrapped around a foosball player’s head. Happy endings, my a$$.”
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dude, i’m impressed.
Ms. Fix-it, I believe that the lack of rednecks was an oversight when the matrix was reprogrammed after the Utopian future they originally tried was such a failure.
Mr Smith would disagree with you.
Humans ARE flawed, but that’s just why we love Rednecks.
I thought Cypher was a red-neck?
Of all the utensils, the spoon would have been my last choice. A knife would have been best, even a fork, but a spoon???
The spoon has the ball! He shoots.. He scores!!!! GOOAAL!!!
The inherent convex surface of the spoon makes it possible to scoop the ball and lift it slightly above playing surface, giving spoon player an unfair advantage over opponent. Therefore, FAIL!
GOD do I hate playing foosball against Uri Geller. Every time! Every frickin’ time!
Great obscure reference! Well, obscure for people under the age of 45.
In other words, get bent.
Well, they did bend over backwards to fix the foosball game.
Did you hear Uri Geller died?
He scratched his neck and his head fell off.
And here I thought I was going to be clever and make a Uri Gellar reference…
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=3361127168
In Matrix 3, Neo takes a knee so that he could go for a Hail-Mary play in the 4th quarter.
There’s no rednecks in “The Matrix”, because the ultimate sci-fi redneck movie (and sequels) had already been made: Star Wars.
Let’s look at the evidence:
1. Luke lives on a farm, out in the middle of nowhere.
2. He lives with his aunt & uncle, because his dad killed his mom.
3. He’s a grease-monkey, who can fix just about anything.
4. He likes shooting small animals (“whomp-rats”) for fun.
5. His best friend (Han) drives a beater, that’s known for going fast.
6. He’s kissed his sister.
7. He’s wanted by the authorities for blowing something up.
8. He helped arrange a jail-break.
Fall off chair laughing. Immediately reposting to Southern friends into civil war reenactment (See? tell your gramps you aren’t crazy. Question is, is a Stormtrooper North or South?)
Well North or South always changes, when the deathstar turns around :S
Now that the Plastic soccer Players have tied their sacrifice, they plan to spill his metal blood to their Ball god, Wokka,goajja. AKKALAKKASHAMMALONGADINGDONGA.
Bend it like Beckham…
Nice… a two-fer. I laughed.
“Billy! How many times have I told you? Don’t play with your food!”
My boy is not gonna play no foosball!
FOOSBALL IS THE DEVIL!!!!!
You guys crack me up! Now, where did I put that duct tape?
For his next feat and your entertainment, the amazing Spoondini will attempt a death-defying escape while he is zip-tied upside down and a Foosball ball is hurtled mercilessly over and over again at his head! *drum roll*
here’s the kick….and….He’s dead!
Now THIS is spoon bending taken to an extreme. Someone beat me to the Geller reference.
“And the crowd goes wild as the Utah Utensils deliver a blushing crow to their competition!” (sorry- this just seemed like the ideal place for a spoonerism)
This guy used his poodle to fix the broken niece!
(No need to apologize, dono. However, I guess we finally solved the mystery as to why there was no spoon for the soup in the kludge posted on 3/31.)
I was just about to comment on that kludge. Apparently Grandma DID have spoons.
Well, In your age, we didn’t had foosball player figures!
Say good-night, Dick.
I was just spooning around one night and now it’s going to cost lot’s of green.
isn´t it perfect ?
i think, it is .
What, no references to the kludged spoon-made-from-a-fork from a few days ago? Maybe this is where the guys missing spoon went, stolen from the lunchroom to fix the foosball game? Or the spoon itself, grew tired of the work-a-day like of feeding a human, longing for the roar of the crowd, the thrill of victory, or the agony of defeat!
So this is a great fix unless you play against the little kid from the matrix “there is no spoon…GGGGOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL”
oh man, this reminds me of my old school so much. XD we had to tape a spoon to one of the foosball rods also.
The train driver in Matrix 3… He’s kind of a redneck, isn’t he?
Isn’t that sweat, that black player likes spooning.
Whether you’re a player or not, sweat isn’t that sweet when you’re spooning.
Sure, we all know the story about the fork that ran away with the spoon. But what they never tell us is how the fork disappeared without a trace and the spoon’s mangled body was found a week later wrapped around a foosball player’s head.
Happy endings, my a$$.
Maybe if the dish had run away with the spoon instead, things would have turned out much differently.
That’s funny, Indomitus. Here we see a fail while commenting on a fail lol. If I remember right, it’s “the little dog laughed to see such sport, and the DISH ran away with the spoon”. But of course, the fork makes more sense, bc otherwise there would be no sporks… unless they had an affair after the fact.
I wonder if the Oracle could foresee Neo’s kludge…
“You’re going to have to make a choice: duct tape or zip tie.”
The Tick meets his arch nemesis.
ohhh thank you for that! I nearly forgot about the mighty Tick and his faithful sidekick…moth something?
Mabel and Blanche haven’t talked in 20 years, ever since Mabel accused Blanche of stealing silverware after a particularly heated game of bridge. Little did Mabel know that the real culprit was her own granson, Johhny, who had his own maniacal plans for Mabel’s precious utensil.
“911 what is your emergency?”Say there this is Peter Griffin, down here on Spooner Street.Yeah there’s a bunch a guys with poles shoved through em trying to play soccer in my living room,they just keep spinning around and movin side to side, you think maybe you could send a couple of cops down here, try and get em the hell outta my house, there really startin to freak me out!
Is that spoon really bent or is it one of them there optical illusions?
The Spoon is bent for sure, but… are the plastic tapes realy wired?
player’s feet on the left side look like made out of cheese. Spoon, cheese… foodball?
“I’ll be good! I’ll be good! I promise! No more flicking peas at Joey! No more dried-on pudding smears! No more crawling into the fork compartment! I swear! I’ll be a good spoon from now on!”
In fact…there are no items AT ALL. *shot for Submachine reference*
I do not see the issue in this picture. They used the regulation two crossed, contrasting colored zip ties…How do you play?
If the tablespoon is goalkeeper, then is it the teaspoon that plays wing, or the demitasse? I forget.
Oh, I see that Uri Geller visited to play some table soccer last week !
“In other news, why weren’t there any rednecks in The Matrix?”
Because the machine running the world would end up on thereifixedit.com!
The perfect for edge-shots
my favorite shots 
Foozball – the cyborg division !