Real Life Tetris Actually Terrifying
Submitted by: Aero_one via Submit a Kludge!
That damn piece always shows up one turn too late. – Ms. Fix-It
Favorite Comment(s): Fixer mindmelda says, “I don’t think the brick guillotine is going to catch on…too slow. And how do you kick out the beam without getting whacked yourself? Definitely needs some re-thinking.”
AND: Fixer Fluffy says, ” ‘The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.’- Douglas Adams”
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Tetris = cool
(first?)
If you mean you think you are the first person to discover Tetris and think it’s cool, I’m here to let you know that time has passed. Perhaps you only just now were able to pull yourself away from the game, all these years later? If so, congratulations. Now step away from the computer.
Tetris is cool. Tetris is timeless.
I think the word you’re looking for is “jealous”. Unless you just created that word and the meaning for it.
Believe it or not, I actually got a high score on Real Life Brick Tetris some years back. It wasn’t a huge accomplishment because the game hadn’t really caught on then. Seeing this now just brings back memories.
Would it have killed you to use the door for once, Hulk? And, no, that piece of lumber is not a proper way to make amends!
You sir have made me laugh.
Now go wait at Vault 101.
Oh god that can’t be what it looks like. I’m usually either impressed or amused by kludges but D-:
I want to know how they got it that way. Normally, you prop something back up after it falls. If you notice it’s /going/ to fall, you don’t lean a piece of hardwood against the wall for when it does fall. You find some more secure way of holding it. And unless there’s more to that picture that we aren’t , those bricks are going to fall either toward or away from the camera eventually.
It’s actually and animal trap. In goes animal, down comes door.
an*
“alright everyone, tomorrow we are starting production on our… what? tetris? what are you tal… OMG!
After the door-up-the-wall and the doorknob-safety-ring, here comes the piece-of-wood-in-ruins. Slow week on the epic kludge front.
Cancel your subscription then.
First there was multistory set of windows, or perhaps huge door. They bricked in the top of the opening. The bricks were not tightly connected to the bricks in the wall, but the hole filler bricks did go into the slots in the wall where the window frame or door frame was. Thus the hole filler bricks could not easily fall into the building, or out onto the ground.
Many years pass, the factory closes. Vandals discover that old bricks have value. They start removing bricks, and structural elements and selling them for scrap. Somebody takes out a key piece and this many ton chunk of brick wall starts to fall. It hits a beam that was possibly part of the door frame. It hits at the extreme right side. This beam could not support that many bricks by itself, but it does slow down the right side, while the left side continues on (briefly). The sliding mass of bricks turns slightly, and wedges itself in place.
No actual human planning was involved in this kludge. Thus it isn’t a kludge at all.
The brick miners would have preferred that the slab had hit the ground, and broke into four thousand individual, easy to harvest, bricks. As it is now, the bricks can come unwedged without warning. It is best to be far away, when the bricks fall. Thermal expansion and contraction, with a wind load from a new direction will probably bring down those bricks. It is a matter of when, not if.
“First there was multistory set of windows, or perhaps huge door.”
OMG, it’s King Kong’s Castle!
I just want to know if you counted all four thousand bricks
There are only,some 490 visible bricks. Double that is 980. So taking into consideration common brick fill practices, I’d call it no more than 1,200 bricks at most. Certainly no where near 4,000.
Where is this place?
Ya know, so I can avoid it…
…You’ll need a ‘backwards L’ piece to fill in the holes and score a three line bonus.
XD
You mean a J piece?
No no, don’t worry. A 2×4 is more then enough support for a wall this big. Go ahead, go stand under it. No, I’m serious, knock yourself out. Trust me, the Jefferson’s are just fine with this. No, ignore that call, he’s fine with it, I just talked to George. Well then you fix it f***er.
Don’t worry, I’m sure they secured the other side with a couple strips of duct tape. Its not like they have NO common sense
This idea for this kludge hit me like a ton of bricks.
The sliding door is a real smash at that warehouse.
The Overhead Garage Door installer sat outside, befuddled, hoping against all hope he was at the wrong address.
♫♪ Here zombies zombies zombies! I have a nice juicy brain for you! Here zombies zom… ♫♪
Oh crap! Here they come!! Billy…get ready to pull your string to yank out the post as soon as you see me climb through that far window and not a moment before!! Got it?
Congratulates, you win an internet.
Thank you! I never had an Internet before! Should I spend it right away or hold out for something I really want? Maybe collect a few more first? Is there a certain protocol I need to follow? How do I care for it in the meantime? What does it eat? Should I take it out for walks twice a day? I really don’t think I’m qualified to be its guardian. (hyperventilating) I mean…what if I’m not a good owner? Will there be stiff penalties or prison time if I am considered negligent? I’m too young to go to prison!! How could you do this to me? I was just fine until you came along and dropped this Internet in my lap!! *ripping out hair* AHHHH!!!!! You’re all against me! You want my Internet…well…you can’t have it! (maniacal laughter) I have already named him. It’s mine!! I will pet him and keep him and call him George. (incoherent mumbling)
Dear Dogmeat:
I worry about your sanity sometimes.
Sincerely,
~LGB
I think I’m building up a tolerance for those little yellow pills that the nice people in the white coats are giving me. I am now taking little green pills for the first time today, but I don’t f-feel an-n-ny diff-f-f-er…. *snore*
*draws mustache on Dogmeat with Sharpie*
*puts right hand in pail of water*
*skipsawayquickly*
*yawn* What the…? Where did this pail of water come from? There must be a leak in the ceiling that someone noticed while I was sleeping and put the pail under it. Oh man! There is another leak right over the middle of my cot!! How did they miss that one? Maybe I can talk to somebody. You there! The good-looking guy in the mirror with the mustache. Yes…you. No…quit pointing at ME. I’m talking to YOU! *scoff* Whatever…mimic me all you want. I don’t care! Just tell me if you know what’s going on here. Well?
Well played, well played Mr. D.
We need more of your ilk on these hallowed pages.
We need more of his ilk on this whole planet…
that wall is “tetri-fying”
It’s actually from the set of Indiana Jones 5: In the Ghetto. Indy sneaks through an abandoned warehouse, slyly steals an old beer bottle from a sleeping hobo. He makes a clean escape! But… the brick wall starts to collapse. Indy staggers forward, heaving his walker as fast as he can… Will he make it?
come on guys have any of you ever played tetris? Imagine how difficult it would be to build a wall if every time you completed a row it disappeared. This oh so smart individual has stopped the problem from happening.
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
- Douglas Adams
That is such an amazing book!
Fluffy rules…HHGG reference FTW!
Ho Ho Holy crap!
When you see it, you get crushed by a pile of bricks.
+1 internetz for you.
Listed in the real estate ads as quaint and airy, ideal for a first time buyer in the fixer upper world.
It seems we discovered a guillotine from the stone-age. 0_0
I don’t think the brick guillotine is going to catch on…too slow. And how do you kick out the beam without getting whacked yourself?
Definitely needs some re-thinking.
The victim has to knock away the beam themselves. Truly diabolical.
Ah, I see. You hold a gun on them until they do it. But, if you have a gun…Oh, it’s that laser on the sharks thing. No true villain ever just shoots someone.
Too easy.
Or you could simply tie a rope to the beam and pull it out. Simple yet effective.
Just because “George” was the Boss’s son, George always thought he could start work at the top.
By lunch time, George was gone for the day, and nobody else wanted to go near his work area. So we sent Bluebottle in to support the work.
Now don’t get me wrong, Bluebottle is an idiot, but he is our idiot. So we put a hard hat on a 2X4 so the boss wouldn’t think Bluebottle was just standing around. We carried that 2X4 around the job site so he appeared to be moving around.
After two weeks we discovered that the 2X4 we were carrying around was actually Bluebottle, who had traded places with our 2X4 after only three days.
As soon as we can safely get the 2X4 back from George’s work area, we are firing Bluebottle and giving the 2X4 his job. It was actually doing a better job than Bluebottle.
Bluebottle? Is this a Goon Show reference?
If so, that would be almost too much win for one place on the internet.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooo doo…
I bet you read this to the Tetris theme.
That’s not what I meant when I said “See if the Historical Preservation Board will support our work.”
I’m going to suggest this term for my dad to use, next time he takes the path of least resistance in replacing dry rot on the back deck.
God damit, the line piece never comes when i need it, and when it does, its a death trap. DAMN YOU constructor Alexey Pazhitnov!!! Your cheap ass programming pr*ck!
thats actually a door… u push that log and the wall falls down
Either they leave the 2×4 there or the piece slides to the bottom, causing bottom rows of bricks to disappear and the top layers to collapse from a lack of a foundation. Whew, good thinking!
I have seen abandoned buildings around here where people have whittled away the brick they can get to without a ladder (since used bricks are worth money) but this is really extreme!!
Aw man, my drawbridge has a massive hole in the bottom! Now I gotta start all over.
There used to be two 2x4s, but somebody won an AWESOME $2 bet.
*I’d* bet there was beer involved…..
That is one heck of a jenga game. I’d hate to see them play chess.
They used a secret technique to get that piece of wood in place that’s known to insiders as The Masonic Lodge.
If it turns out that this is what’s been going on in there all these years, they’re going to have a lot of trouble with new membership when word gets out.
OMG it’s line piece!
Most of these comments have me ROFL!!
Thanks, everybody! I needed that.
That’s what we’re here for. We’re just doing our jobs. [wraps blanket around your shoulders] Believe us when we tell you that everything will be fine. You’re going to be oookay!
They were trying to air it out so they could sell it, but since it only had windows on the southern wall, they had to roll up the wall.
IT’S A TRAP!!!!!
Damn clever if you ask me: the angle of the 4×2 causes the panel of bricks to skew sufficiently for friction (at the bottom left and top right of the panel) to hold it in place. And the weight is so near to the end of the 4×2 that it really only takes a bit of shear force. If they’d put the prop vertically in the middle it would just have buckled.
Of course the brick panel must be much newer than the rest of the building: old mortar doesn’t usually stick the bricks together all that well.
Epic kludge with an instinctive mastery of structural engineering! Although WTF they were trying to achieve is beyond me..
4×2? where do you buy your lumber?
“Attention Ladies & Gents: We’re sorry, but the brick elevator is broken today. Please use the stairs with the gate half way up them to get to this area of the building.”
Should our theme song be “Brick House” or “Brick in the Wall?”
Is this the Goddard Mansion in Cape Elizabeth Maine?
Well, the style is not mismatched enough to be part of Hearst Castle. If you’ve toured it, you’d know what I mean.
“The Cask of Amontillado”
Now with 90% less waiting!
Line Piece!!!
MY GOD! We have stumbled upon a Stone Age guillotine! Notify the museums at once!
Structural engineers report states “some evidence of subsidence” ..
Contractor to owner: “No worries, we’ll be back to finish it up…next week. Yeah…early next week for SURE.”
It’s brilliant! Once you understand it’s intended purpose. That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is a device for giving lawyers heart attacks.
“Now when the alien starts to chase you, lead him through the door and I will pull the stick out and the door will close down on him, smashing him flat. Any questions Scooby? Shaggy?”
I’m afraid I can’t allow you to do that, Star Fox…
LOIL!
The inspiration for Breakout.
ed edd and eddy, along with the rest of the culdesack, were off tomb raiding. Little did they know the tomb was closing behind them. Plank made the ultimate sacrifice so the rest could live.