You’re never out of giftwrap when you have scrap lumber, drywall screws, and duct tape.
Submitted by: Oliver in Detroit via Submit a Kludge!
Heck, I’m lucky if my husband remembers to take the receipt out the plastic bag before giving it to me. This isn’t laziness, this is love. – Ms. Fix-It
Favorite Comment: Fixer glyptodon says, “I hope his wife’s hopes weren’t dashed too mercilessly when she found out the verizon box actually just held more drywall screws..”
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well done. just the right amount of duct tape. WIN!
I disagree. Just like Jello, there is always room for more duct tape!
NEVER enough duct tape.
{Heck, I’m lucky if my husband remembers to take the receipt out the plastic bag before giving it to me. This isn’t laziness, this is love. – Ms. Fix-It}
Finally, a woman who appreciates true effort! I at least will put presents for my wife in a bag from another store before tossing it to her on my way out the door!
What are these guys doing? They’re just making it that much more difficult to take stuff back and exchange it.
I agree with Ms. Fix-it. This is a major act of love. All my husband does is tear off a scrap of scratch paper, write an IOU for something, and hand that to me. I never get the things he gives me the IOU for…. the gift is the IOU itself. Let’s see if someone can beat that for cheap and lazy.
*shaking head*
This is a guy who wanted to escape to his workshop from some family function that was taking place in his living room:
“But honey, I’m working on something for YOU!”
[Wife opens “giftbox” later] “The cell phone that I picked out myself last week?”
In his favor, at least he didn’t dream up anything quite like Justin Timberlake on SNL…
not only that, they went thru all that trouble and thats the FREE PHONE from verizon.
actually it looks like a samsung gravity which is only available on the GSM network of t-mobile
youre right upon seen the box again i now noticed the verizon logo my bad.
Yeah its the Samsung Intensity. My friend has one. It blows.
I dunno, looks fenced to me.
Ahaha! “Not exactly fancy wrought-iron stuff, babe, but this is still perfectly good loot.”
I hope his wife’s hopes weren’t dashed too mercilessly when she found out the verizon box actually just held more drywall screws..
… its samsung.
Alternative one : If you don’t have screws, use more duct tape.
Alternative two : If you don’t have wood, use a lot more duct tape, keep the screws.
Alternative three : If you don’t have duct tape, keep the gift.
The owner’s manual said “Returns must be made in original packaging.” This packaging is pretty original.
^ claps
Wild applause!
Are they planning to air drop the package or what?
Nah, it’d fall too fast. That’s the problem.
It’s an excellent way to disguise what the present is, sorta like putting an ipod in a huge box and weighting it down.
Yup. My mother used to do some pretty wacky wrapping to disguise things. One I recall her telling me about: The gift was a record. Before wrapping it she took an large empty tin can and set it on the record, making it totally obvious the package was a hat.
Cheap phone.
Snazzy Packaging.
Well done! A bow made from zip ties would have been the perfect finishing touch.
Yeah, but you need to find someone who really knows what they’re doing for that kind of detail. Look, this guy didn’t even take the bar code sticker of the end of the lumber. Martha’s not ready to call this a good thing any time soon.
Just scribble over the bar code with a marker and you’d be good to go.
*Bonus points if you paint the entire box in red or green Krylon.
**Double bonus if you put “Merry X-Mas” in stencil block letters on the side of the box
All points lost if it’s in the middle of Summer.
What a touching sentiment! Don’t forget to throw in a bouquet of dandelions, a box of Junior Mints, a thermos of chilled apple juice, and two tickets drawn in crayon for that free movie showing at the park underneath the stars. The woman you pine for will be unable to resist your frugal charms.
Hmm. This might be okay, if she lives under the overpass near you, two or three appliance boxes over.
That is exactly how my husband would have wrapped my gift, and I love it. His fav thing is newspaper, duct tape, and weird shaped boxes….REDNECK LOVE!!!!!
On one Xmas gift exchange at my workplace, I had a guy empty a pressure regulator out of its packaging and use that to put my gift in. I gleefully announced, “A pressure regulator! How nice!”
Alright! I cannot let this go on anymore… That’s not duct tape. That’s Gaff Tape. If you don’t know what that is, well, I’m sorry, it makes duct tape look like crap! (:
I think you mean gaffer’s tape. You indeed made a gaffe. If you don’t know what that means, look it up, ya lazy sod.
First – I don’t care how they do it on the ‘West Coast’.
Gaffer tape, gaffer’s tape, and gaff tape are synonyms. If someone corrects you, when you say ‘gaff tape’, and asks if you really mean ‘gaffer’s tape’, tell him to get back to his job, behind the craft service’s table.
‘Real’ gaffer tape is also called Permacel, the manufacturer’s name and is properly ‘Permacel 672′. It comes in 3 colors, black, white, grey, all with a matt finish. It is a magical tape. It is made from all cotton fabric and will easily outlast the swag t-shirt you get from the event, and a roll is 5 times more expensive. Its magical property is in the adhesive used, it will release clean, even after hours of baking in the sun. This same property gives it a ‘gentle’ quality, the adhesive does not flow around the object it is stuck to, at all. If you attach it to a table, with a week of dust on it, when you pull the tape up, it is likely that 3 days of dust will remain on the table. Many see this as the tape not sticking, when really they are simply using it wrong. This tape is also, sadly, not made anymore.
The ‘value priced’ gaff tape is made by Shurtape, it is also identified by another word that starts with ‘sh’. Shurtape identifies this product as ‘Pro Gaffer’, and the product code starts with ‘P’. This is the tape that is most often viewed as gaff tape by the majority of those in the general public. It is vinylcomes in a variety of festive colors, sure to match your every need. The tape is mostly vinyl and will, unlike Permacel, conform to almost any shape. I will break down, and dry out over time and temperature, in much the same way as duct tape. It also has a much stronger adhesive quality than Permacel. To the credit of the tape, on a short term basis, it will release cleanly. A friend told me that if you want to attach a production assistant to the wall that Shurtape is a far better choice to Permacel, determined using a side by side comparison test. Shurtape is also one-third to one-half the price of Permacel.
The rights to manufacture Permacel Tapes, was sold to Shurtape and it is now called ‘Shurtape A&E Gaffers Tape’
as a post script – I think the box must have been made on location – real gaff tape, foam core board, and high grade lumber. The box build appears to be of better than average quality, except for the torn corner of the foam core.
Thank you so much for correcting them!! IT IS CALLED GAFF TAPE PEOPLE!! A thousand times better than duct tape. Clearly this is made by a theatre student who just finished their stagecraft class.
I’d say that gut does crate work!
Less effort? Nah. More hilarious to open? Yup.
In our family, earrings or gift cards being packaged in shoeboxes with bricks isn’t unheard of. I’m going to use that one.
I don’t know if his gift was appreciated but as for the packaging, I’d say he nailed it.
Nailed it? I thought he was screwed.
It’s all about the effort. This is love. My father always wrapped Christmas gifts in a similar manner to make peeking and shaking and guessing impossible. My mother once received a diamond ring in a washing machine box. It is all about the effort.
The U.S. Post Office. Now with 100% more posts in every shipment.
Obviously that took longer than going to the general store and buying some wrapping paper.
Yes, even if you live in a desert.
A package that may survive UPS shipping…
When I was younger I wrapped a wedding present in a mountain dew box and white paper. The sad part was I also forgot to put my name on it, but the couple had no difficulty in knowing it was from me.
Remember, if the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!
I once got a friend a small multitool for his birthday…I couldn’t find any boxes of a decent size, so I drilled a large hole in a block of wood, wrapped the tool in a scrap of fabric, dropped it in, and screwed a dead lightbulb in the hole to seal it. He loved it.
And yes, it really WAS less effort.
New thought- Anyone ever welded a present into a box? I would love to see the reactions.
Or perhaps a welded box with a gift card taped to the bottom?
No, but I once hid a gift card taped in between two matchbox cars (unopened) boxes. They thought they got two toy cars and took them awhile to figure out what the real gift was…so I guess it kind of back fired oh well.
OMG. My dad is so embarrassing. He fricken would put this on thereIfixedit. great. FML
Just think, if there is a flood this gift has a chance of surviving undamaged as it will float!
o mu gosh my husband does that too! leaves a reciept in the store bag with my birthday gift, I mean.
Lol must have been saturday night with the party starting in an hour
I remember from my childhood being inspired by the Garfield Christmas Special – where Odie kludged a back scratcher for Garfield. In later life that inspired me to build the ultimate Christmas present for my parents. It was early in college – Christmas break of my freshman year at the time and I remember a lot of “No mom you can’t come in my room” – “Why – what are those noises?” – “It’s a surprise”. On Christmas morning it was “Wow – these are great! That’s what you were putting together downstairs. We love it!” BTW my Mom and Dad still use those two rolling wine racks.
Typical custom-avoid package
Guy, are You live in Serbia?
im prettysure that verizon doesn’t have samsung phones, but that’s the exact set up for a verizon box. anyone else think its odd??