Submitted by: Ulandi via Submit a Kludge!
Man, these prison escape movies get worse every year. – Ms. Fix-It
Favorite Comment: Fixer Dogmeat says, “Does anyone else think that blue sign on the wall says “Protected by SAFE security fencing”? If it does, someone has a very loose interpretation of what “safe” means. That word is in all capital letters, though. It might be an acronym…possibly either “Still Allows Forcible Entry” or “Setup Ain’t Fooling Everyone”.”
-
-
Copy & paste this:
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-483xl95pmUiaY.gif\")
I’m in suspense waiting to see who escapes. Did anyone else notice the tiny Alice in Wonderland door in the brick wall too?
Who lives here, anyway?
looks more like a small utility cabinet to me
The cabinet houses the electricity consumption meter
Maybe that’s the letter slot just to make it interesting for the mailman?
are these “fix it pictures” just getting worse and worse???
Security improvement suggestion #1:
Maybe they should take all those wooden pallets underneath the staircase and duct tape or zip tie them on each side.
Yes, this is a SAFE House. Nobody can get in or out, we have the iron gate closed.
This is a fire hazard! They should hang a hacksaw on the gate in case of an emergency.
SAFE is an armed response company – it looks like a property in Sandbaai, near Hermanus, South Africa.
maybe it’s a temporary gate which will be removed once handrails are installed. then again, maybe not.
I see that the kid from Home Alone has grown into a prison security system designer. This is just a decoy escape hatch, anyone trying to break in or out will see it and think it’s an easy getaway, only to jump onto it and discover:
That its rigged with an alarm… “CRAP!”
That it’s lined with live wires… ~zZzzAazAaaP~
That it isn’t attched properly to the roof… ~THUMP!~
And such endless unpleasant suprises.
Does anyone else think that blue sign on the wall says “Protected by SAFE security fencing”? If it does, someone has a very loose interpretation of what “safe” means. That word is in all capital letters, though. It might be an acronym…possibly either “Still Allows Forcible Entry” or “Setup Ain’t Fooling Everyone”.
Dear Dogmeat:
Will you marry me?
Sincerely,
~LGB
Dear Dogmeat:
Will you be my second husband?
Sincerely,
~LGB
Dear LGB:
Unlike this kludge, your proposal is very flattering! As I too am married (and very happily at that), I must in the absolutely nicest way possible give you the gate.
Respectfully,
~Dogmeat
Ah it’s spring, and unrequited love is in the air!
…and you! You better behave — or else!
*shakes fist at Brewski*
LGB:
You really need to join a fencing club.
And, Brewski, I don’t see any return springs on that gate, so springs can’t be in the air.
Worth a shot…
*shrugs*
*walks away kicking rocks*
The blue sign does, indeed, say “SAFE”. The scary part? There’s a stylized atom on the sign, too. What are the odds that this was taken at a nuclear plant, and that gate is our final line of defense against terrorists bent on acquiring nuclear material? o.O
Realizing that the “child safety” gate he reclaimed from the dump isn’t tall enough to install on the bottom step, Kletus resigned himself to the fact that his 2 year old son would probably survive a fall from only 6 steps up.
To reach the top of the stairway to heaven, you must overcome many difficulties. The first obstacle keeps you wondering for days how that gate can stand there without any support.
Next stop: the floating window
Truly it is written that a locked door stops only an honest man.
Only midgets cant climb up the side of the stairs and break through. Why are they so mean to the midget guards? Why?
We’re trapped!
This is the first sign you’re walking into an abnormal house. If you actually find the key (Located back under that bush near your house for some reason) and go in, you’ll find secret entrances, hidden guns, and more plot than you can shake a stick at.
Gentlemen, Resident Evil has just met Real Life.
Looks like Safe Security Services has taken home protection to a new level.
Not quite to a new level…only about one-third of the way.
Stairway to Heaven: Access Denied.
Damn!!! I had just ‘invest’ in ADT security system with 10 video camera, motion sensor and booby traps and that would have been less costly and as effective!
A racoon can get around this security device!
It just has to use a different gait to do so.
hmmm different gait … are we thinking a Popeye type limp, or a top model runway strut? You’d have to look closely to determine what the raccoon was wearing.
Yeah, but not a possum. I bet the gate owner’s scared of possums. I know I am.
You… shall… not… pass!
This is the place where Microsoft got the idea to add a firewall to their products.
With this gate, my house on stilts is finally zombie proof!
My bet is that it is a security door to keep a dog in, not someone out. The dog won’t jump from that height. Not sure but that’s my theory.
Why does the stair edge extend under the drip line of the roof, and therefore also collide with the column at the base? Perhaps the stair actually predates the construction of the rest of the structure. The gate could then be construed to be a relic of the stair’s former life.
Or I could just be really tired.
All I see here are the clever convicts slowly dismantling the normally ignored and overlooked jail sections, like stair railings, so they can eventually make a clear and undetectable getaway. I mean, the guards only check that the gates are secure, right?
It’s clearly a mime prison.
Score!!
Vickie:
Your comment is, hands down, the most clever! In my book, you WIN.
Yet McGuiver would still go out of his way with a rubber band, some chewing gum and a hair clip to bomb that gate…amazing.
And yet he still didn’t take enough steps to secure his home.
Kludge, kludge, kludging on heavens door…
this is for failing down the stairs
it would keep out zombies. Everyone knows they cant climb obsticals over thir knee, or open gates.
The scary part is….we are still looking for the key to this.
People find using those stairs to be very grating on their nerves.
Ms. Fix-It:
Yes, prison escape movies have gone downhill since “The Grate Escape”.
SAFE – Unless you can stack those palettes high enough or push this table over there.
The top of the gate is bent inwards as if to keep someone or something from climbing it to escape rather then to keep someone out:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
i know the place, its in Franskraal in western cape, south africa, its actually a OK foods store, i test their water there thats how i know the place, lol thought that was very funny when i saw it in person hahahaha
S.A.F.E. (Surreal Architecture Fails Eternally) welcomes you to our M.C. Echer model …
let me guess.
that prison is empty because the court is deciding to punish everyone who commits a crime, no matter how small or stupid it is, even if the person can easily learn from their mistakes, they just throw them into a prison full of criminals that would ether kill or “assimilate” that person into the criminal ranks.