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Submitted by: drinkfast via Submit a Kludge!
Worst. Waterful. Ever. – Ms. Fix-It
Favorite Comment: Fixer Little Blue Girl haikus,
“Soap in dispenser
Wishes it were in the hands
Of someone smarter.”
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Might as well teach your kids early that life is gonna be full of frustration and unattainable objects.
Zen soap dispenser: See the soap, be the soap.
Soap on, soap off.
Soap in dispenser
Wishes it were in the hands
Of someone smarter.
Awesome haiku, Blue
Your creativity rocks
I bow to you now
Nice to know someone who actually recognizes a haiku!
LGB!
*squeeze*
Fancy meeting you here!
*squeeze*
Hmmmm, yes, quite. Come here often?
Usually just cruise through the pics. Saw your avatar in the “recent comments” box and thought I’d detour.
Awwww, s’nicey!
Oh no, the lolcats have begun their invasion!
No squeezing, poking, hugging or any other kind of cute behavior is allowed here. Only slapping, punches to the groin and lotsa of sailor language. And beer. Don’t forget the beer.
Ack! Agreed! This is the kind of thing that makes the average kludger nervous. No hugging, no kissing, no cutesy-face stuff, OK? Save it for the cats. Feel free to tell each other off all you want, though. That will be understood just fine. The thought of anything else in here is making me break out in a cold sweat… I think I feel a little panic attack coming on… Oh, man, AND of all things at a moment like this, I’m out of beer!
Criticism fine
Dreading comments allowed but
No O HAI!-kus here
I liked the haiku.
*hands kc/cc a cold beer*
Whew, crisis averted! Thanks, AntiCat. Looks like I’d better restock in anticipation of the climate change around here…
Er… *offers fistbump*
Huh. Even that feels a little like crossing the line, somehow…
*shudders*
*accepts fistbump* I live in San Berdoo County in SoCal. We invented the fistbump.
Well, I live in one of those “fly-over” states, where we like to keep our personal space intact. When you have all this elbow room, you may as well use it, but a fistbump is less of a commitment than a handshake, I guess.
Yeah, you’re right: If you were a lolcatter, we wouldn’t understand what the hell you were saying! OHAIKTHXBAI
Can’t get to the soap
Oh, and I just had to flush twice
Don’t shake hands with me.
A soap on a rope
Would have a much better chance
To fulfill its dreams.
Well-versed in haiku,
Little Girl Blue demonstrates
Clean sense of humor.
I can say truly
Having just read Dogmeat’s prose
I can die happy.
Soap was barred from the bathroom.
That’s a dirty trick!
Brewski?
BREWSKI!
*SKA-WEEZE*
Yes. It was quite a surprise for me, as well.
Okay, I give. Where are y’all from?
Please, I encourage you to also invade thisisphotobomb.com. That place was taken over by newly-post-pubescent little twits who wandered over from hawtness.com. Now that place also is like one big circle jerk. The more haiku and puns, the better.
Agreed.
We normally hang out on Failblog. Brewski used to, but has since left, much to our dismay. Can’t say I’ve ever cruised the comments on photobomb. I may have to check it out.
n00b attack!!!!!
Hey Anna, it’s interesting how each site generates it’s own culture. Psychologists should just study Cheez Network behavior to determine if mankind is doomed.
Oh most certainly, sorry to cut into this conversation. If a psychologist wanted to examine a well oriented culture they’d study the actual world, if they want to know the future. Study the memes
To apply a small amount of soap press the shredding button once.
…a bit harder, please.
…I said harder, didn’t I?
…Now press it again – really, really hard!
…Still nothing, eh? Must be something wrong with you, weirdo!
Operator error.
RTFM! In case of dirty hands, break glass.
In case of foul language, rub vigorously on tongue.
no need for soap. Orbit will take care of that
State Law requires all employees to…. never mind.
Due to budget cuts, the soap can only be viewed. Oh, and please dry your hands on your pants.
What if you don’t HAVE pants?!?
not to skirt your question, but clean hands might then be the least of your problems.
Hmmm… Never thought about it, treborx, but you’re probably right. You just brought me up short[s]. You sure know how to get to the bottom line…
I have a feeling you’re tailoring your jokes for a fitted audience.
The early prototype of the soap juicer failed miserably
Time: 04:57
Mission: Rescue Soap McTavish from highly secured prison
I can’t decide if I love this for it’s whimsey or hate it because of how contrived it seems.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. And therefore is winged cupid painted blind.
~William Shakespeare
Now there was a guy who could kludge a rhyme together.
Yes, so much more articulate than Dr. Seuss.
But Dr Seuss had a better beat.
I first read that as: “But Dr. Seuss had a better hat.”
No, the cat had the hat.
And just so there’s no confusion, the cat in the hat is not a lolcat
Pinnacle of Doing It Wrong …
Just add water and soap will dissolve very slowly thus providing a mildly soapy water for months to come. My kids do that in the bathtub all the time.
I bet they get really wrinkly from waiting that long.
I’ve come across some weird things so far,
But a dispenser filled with a solid soap bar?
Day by day from its plastic prison it stared.
Everyone saw it, but I guess no one cared.
I quipped, “The janitor sure got confused!”
The soap’s look told me it wasn’t amused.
I apologized quickly, and it said, “That’s okay.
I’ve just heard that joke for the tenth time today.”
But how to dispense this soap from within?
To leave my hands filthy was surely a sin!
I tried and I tried. Then I tried yet some more.
Cleaning off germs shouldn’t be such a chore.
I finally threw my hands up in despair.
Did others try this and get anywhere?
The soap then confirmed what I started to fear.
“They don’t wash their hands like they used to do here.”
*snaps*
*snoffles*
Encore! Encore!
Haiku of Little Girl is really awesome, but this is just beyond awesome…
it’s…
it’s…
…BE-AWESOME
It’s … it’s … *sniff* …
Sheer poetry!
Winner!
That was truly spectacular, Dog. Well done!
Epic lol…
I was able to imagine that being read by Boris Karloff. You’re having an epic week, dogmeat!
In response to Little Girl Blue’s very witty haiku being chosen as the favorite comment, I say…
We should take delight
In the success of others
And then try harder.
How cool is that? It’s like powering a Fail — only better!
*bows*
Thanks, Dogmeat!
Just noticed: Ms. Fix-It called me “Little Blue Girl”…
*giggles*
So, you’re Smurfette?
Actually, no. But I play one on TV.
What a great prank to play on obsessive-compulsive coworkers!
What do you mean it needs to be a little more viscous?
A clean fix!
Add a little acid and that soap’ll turn into what you’re used to quick enough!
Of course, then you have the problem of your hands melting off, but at least they’ll be clean!
There once was a guy who had hope
That the bathroom had plenty of soap
But the kludge at the sink
Made him seriously think
“I should have brought soap on a rope”.
I seriously did not see this before I posted my “soap-on-a-rope” haiku…
*snaps*
Limericks, haikus, and poems…oh my!
Nicely done! The poking fun you did of everyone the other day had me in stitches (which the doctor says can come out the middle of next week)!!
Am I still on thereifixedit.com?
Not too sure myself, its getting weird here. Good weird, but still .. weird.
Weird is what we are and what the Cheez Networks are all about. But someone saying *squeeze* to me makes me jump a bit.
Brought to you by the same janitor who keeps filling the water cooler with ice-cubes.
Mrs. Rogers told Amelia Bedelia to put the soap in the dispenser.
I couldn’t get my seamonkeys to grow either.
In elementary school we had soap dispensers that you put a bar of soap in, then turned a crank which would grind the soap into little flakes.
I remember that always turned into soap flakes on the floor. The way powdered soap dispensed all over the floor, and later on, liquid. (Yeah, things were changing rapidly in those days.) Now that I look back, why the heck didn’t the custodian just hang the dispensers over the sinks, for crying out loud, instead of between them? One extra dispenser, and he could’ve saved himself a whole lot of trouble.
Directions for use:
Wet hands.
Pump furiously until heat melts some soap.
Rub soap over bloody stumps.
Rinse thoroughly
Dry.
(if you will pardon my prose)
its not the size of the bar that matters… its how you use it
Ve have vays of making you taulk.
These sorts of tricks happen quite frequently on All-Tallows-Eve.
When you look up ‘irony’ in a dictionary, there should be this Picture.
Looks more like a “You’re doing it WRONG!” material to me…
Prison Warden’s Journal 05/03/2010:
Finally found a way to combat the “Dropped Soap” epidemic.
Hand soap, where it is
A place where my hand can’t reach.
It’s clean, but I am not.
Wtf I just saw this stupid pic on fail blog.
Must’ve brought it with me by accident…
it must have been a genius
how dumb do u have to be? honestly..?
Putting a “push hard” sign on it would be just…mean.