No, I Don’t Think My Drinking Is A Crutch
Submitted by: dunno source via Submit a Kludge!
Favorite Comment: Fixer Slapchop says, “Until he hangs a carton of smokes and an oxygen tank on the other crutch, he’s just a lightweight.”
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Crazy uncle Ted – the later years.
Finally, you can limp to your physical therapist without spilling your beer.
He’ll be getting DUIs again in no time.
I wanted something like that when I was on crutches. To get a mug of coffee to the living room where I was wearing out the loveseat, I would have to pour the coffee, put it on the table, move over a few feet, move the mug a few feet, and repeat until I was close enough to put the mug on the coffee table. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks.
Beer cans would go in my pocket for the ride over.
Eventually, I got me a thermos to put my coffee in.
Let’s see here: coffee, coffee, coffee…beer, coffee, again… I think that if you had just cut down your intake of all those liquids, you wouldn’t have spent so much time hobbling, especially to the bathroom. Problem Fixed!
Need I remind you why exactly you needed those crutches in the first place?
When I had hip surgery done, I put a cardboard “holster” on one of my crutches, that held a grabber that I used to pick up things that I dropped.
Improvisation, Canadian style.
These two crutches really hit it off at the club last night. They were caught here making out against the back wall of the establishment. Sure…the alcohol had some influence, but they also have a lot in common. Earlier in the evening, one was heard telling the other, “No way! ‘Lean On Me’ is my favorite song too!”
Well, good for them, but I think it really ticked off that walking stick she came in with. And I find it so awkward when medical aid devices start getting it on in public. The hospital’s just up the street, guys– get a room!
This is a sure sign that your rehabilitation is going really well AND very poorly, both at the same time.
Probably the reason he needs the crutches in the first place!
“From crutch rocket to crutch kludge!”
Best idea ever. Affix your beer to a mode of transportation that shakes a lot, in a position that’s pointed directly at your face. On the off chance that you actually manage to drink said beer and compromise your sobriety, make sure that you do it while you don’t have the full use of both legs.
I spent a *lot* of time on crutches as a teenager. I could carry trays, cups and bottles, go up and down stairs, in and out doors, and do pretty much everything but… learn to dance
Whoever this is is a newbie. The only problem with this design is that crutches have a lot of movement. That beer is going to have to settle awhile or they’ll be getting right back up for a towel to clean up the mess when the can is opened. You don’t want to be shaking those fizzy drinks.
They now make “crutch bags” to carry small flat items like your wallet, keys, and a cell phone.
Repurposed fanny pack?
And that´s not all, calling now your beer support will come with two aluminium friends to help you out when your drunk!!
these aren’t for someone who needs crutches and wants a beer, they are for someone who likes to drink until they fall down. with the help of the crutches they can drink a least 4 more beers.
Future coffe maker @ AA
Oooooh, I miss Waterloo Dark so much! I moved away from Ontario, we don’t have that brand where I am now!
Kawaisou! I was so thrilled when I saw that the beer in question was Waterloo Dark. I’ll have one for you.
I appreciate it! Maybe I’ll see if I can get a case shipped.
Be expensive, but totally worth it
The Brick also makes (in summer) their “Waterloo Wheat”, which is a really refreshing wheat beer. Only comes in ginormous 750ml bottles, but that’s a perfect size for sharing!
Muahahaha I am sipping waterloo dark as you speak. Oh the spoils of being a student…
What’s with the lack of funny hover-text? Is this on purpose?
Ahhh Waterloo, home to 2 University’s. This was most likely made by Laurier however. UW engineers might be good, but we Laurier students are gods when it comes to drinking.
You are from Laurier, and you are seriously comparing yourself to Waterloo Engineering students in drinking ability? Your alumni, should any be present, are hiding their faces in shame right now, knowing how foolish you look.
Plural form of “university” = universities. And I thought WLU was the liberal arts school? Maybe you’d better leave the engineering AND the spelling to us. I think it’s a draw for drinking ability.
This guy isn’t serious about his kludge until he puts another can holder on the second crutch and attaches them both to some tubing. Beer Can Hat, meet Beer Can Crutches.
I was thinking Beer Can Hat does a better job too! So much more convenient. Gives you shade and quenches your thirst at the same time!
FTW
I bet this dude has a beer holster fully loaded as well.
In that case the cop term for how ready and armed you are also apply to this setup.
-”6 in the mag and one in the chamber”.
some people using drinking as a crutch, others use crutches for drinking. the end result is probably the same.
Even gimps need their booze.
Until he hangs a carton of smokes and an oxygen tank on the other crutch, he’s just a lightweight.
I think what you describe here is suspicious. Is this person trying to take hostages with that kind of gear on board?
Yo, that beer is awesome. Yay Brick Brewery!
The beginnings of a utility belt for crutches.
Hooray for Waterloo Dark <3
AWESOME beer!
For the recovering alcoholic on the go.
Next futurist Lance’s out-of-the-cycle bike ?