Submitted by: Deborah Lautaret via Submit a Kludge!
Favorite Comment Thread!: Oh my God, y’all are cracking me up this morning. Fantastic thread. Plus +5 internets for all parties involed!
Started By: Fixer Blackmoore, “Day 51. I’ve managed to kludge a can opener so that I can eat the remaining stock of canned food. I expect this will last another month, or until i run out of ammo for the shotgun and the zombies finally get me.”
Fixer Pat says, “Day 52: Ate two beans today on accident; can survive one fewer day now.”
Fixer dono1 says, “Day 53. No luck yet on opening my remaining can of mystery food but the past few days have given me a chance to study the picture on the label. It’s either potato chips with rasins or miniature Dr. Scholl’s air-pillow insoles topped with okra slices. I’m so hungry now I would gladly eat either. The zombies are getting bolder and were not scared away by the torch I made from a roll of paper towels. If only I had some duct tape to seal up these windows…”
Fixer anon says, “Day 54. After consuming some of the contents of this can, its effects appear to be acting as a zombie repellent. They don’t seem to have any interest in eating my brain today. I suspect it is because my brain would taste like what I have been eating. Also, in spite of it being the middle of summer with no AC and not having showered for a week, I am not sweating nor do I smell. I also feel remarkably comfortable and relaxed. I now believe I have been eating Dr. Scholl’s odor destroyers super comfort insoles rather than the air pillow insoles.”
Fixer bobdobbs says, “Day 55 I fear the insoles have stopped by bodily functions and I have been unable to quench my thirst. They are super absorbent and even if the Zombies do not get me I fear the insoles have taken their toll.”
Fixer Blackmoore says, “Day 56 – I have managed to locate a hot water tank full of potable water, and drank the entire contents. Still uncomfortable, but the zombies are still repelled. I’ve located another stock of sealed cans with no labels – but I am running out of shotgun shells.”
Fixer Blackmoore says, “Day 58 – PANIC! I’ve run out of Duct tape!”
Fixer dono1 says, “Day 59. I think I’m in luck. One of the cable channels was having a MacGyver marathon and I was able to catch several hours worth of episodes (although I had to keep the volume down so as not to alert the zombies of my presence). In one episode called Ugly Duckling, Mac made a shotgun shell out of an old paper towel tube, a flashlight battery, parts from a smoke alarm and some Tabasco sauce, all wrapped tightly in duct tape. I’ve got most of those ingredients here in my kitchen except the Tabasco but I do have Cajun Catsup Hot Sauce which should suffice. Unfortunately, I still don’t have any duct tape and… Wait! I hear a crashing sound out in the garage…”
Fixer Zombinator says, “HOLD TIGHT WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO SEND IN MORE DUCT TAPE….. WE DO NOT WANT TO GET TO CLOSE SO WILL BE THROWING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOWS….”
Fixer Ast says, “Day 60- I finally worked up the courage to approach the garage. The zombie repellent seems to be still working, but I can see them patrolling around my fence. To my astonishment, the pet chicks that I bought 2 months ago have matured, though I have no idea what they were eating all these time. I seem to be in luck! The crashing sound announced the arrival of my duct tape collection, which my now grown chickens have knocked down the shelf for me!”
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If it was only duct taped to a power drill…
As you can read below, he’s out of duct tape, but just grabbing that bolt-like thingie in the drill chuck should do it too. It also will cause the tin’s content to be self-distributing, not unlike blowing the top off using a shaped charge.
I doubt the contents of that can are good enough to justify the effort.
Better not spill it; they’re outta paper towels. Is that a metric adjustable crescent wrench?
Yes, it is. And if you’ll llok at the jaws, you’ll see that it’s also left-handed.
. . . But he’s using it backwards.
I have one just like it, if you flip it over it’s sutable for metric applications.
Day 51. I’ve managed to kludge a can opener so that I can eat the remaining stock of canned food. I expect this will last another month, or until i run out of ammo for the shotgun and the zombies finally get me.
Day 52: Ate two beans today on accident; can survive one fewer day now.
Day 53. No luck yet on opening my remaining can of mystery food but the past few days have given me a chance to study the picture on the label. It’s either potato chips with rasins or miniature Dr. Scholl’s air-pillow insoles topped with okra slices. I’m so hungry now I would gladly eat either. The zombies are getting bolder and were not scared away by the torch I made from a roll of paper towels. If only I had some duct tape to seal up these windows…
Day 54. After consuming some of the contents of this can, its effects appear to be acting as a zombie repellent. They don’t seem to have any interest in eating my brain today. I suspect it is because my brain would taste like what I have been eating. Also, in spite of it being the middle of summer with no AC and not having showered for a week, I am not sweating nor do I smell. I also feel remarkably comfortable and relaxed. I now believe I have been eating Dr. Scholl’s odor destroyers super comfort insoles rather than the air pillow insoles.
4 itchy tasty
Day 55 I fear the insoles have stopped by bodily functions and I have been unable to quench my thirst. They are super absorbent and even if the Zombies do not get me I fear the insoles have taken their toll.
Day 56 – I have managed to locate a hot water tank full of potable water, and drank the entire contents. Still uncomfortable, but the zombies are still repelled. I’ve located another stock of sealed cans with no labels – but I am running out of shotgun shells.
Day 58 – PANIC! I’ve run out of Duct tape!
Day 59. I think I’m in luck. One of the cable channels was having a MacGyver marathon and I was able to catch several hours worth of episodes (although I had to keep the volume down so as not to alert the zombies of my presence). In one episode called Ugly Duckling, Mac made a shotgun shell out of an old paper towel tube, a flashlight battery, parts from a smoke alarm and some Tabasco sauce, all wrapped tightly in duct tape. I’ve got most of those ingredients here in my kitchen except the Tabasco but I do have Cajun Catsup Hot Sauce which should suffice. Unfortunately, I still don’t have any duct tape and… Wait! I hear a crashing sound out in the garage…
HOLD TIGHT WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO SEND IN MORE DUCT TAPE….. WE DO NOT WANT TO GET TO CLOSE SO WILL BE THROWING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOWS….
Day 60- I finally worked up the courage to approach the garage. The zombie repellent seems to be still working, but I can see them patrolling around my fence. To my astonishment, the pet chicks that I bought 2 months ago have matured, though I have no idea what they were eating all these time. I seem to be in luck! The crashing sound announced the arrival of my duct tape collection, which my now grown chickens have knocked down the shelf for me!
Day 61: After procuring the duct tape, I attempted to create a shotgun shell from the idea in the MacGyver episode. I need to hurry, as the odor eaters are working their way through my system. I believe they will pass and be ineffective any day now. My first attempt at creating a shell did not work as planned, but it did create an explosive charge. However, it accidentally took out one of the chickens.
A new hoard of zombies reached the gate this morning, but are still afraid to come in. I need to discover some sort of way to create a bomb, as I don’t believe these MacGyver’d shells have the stability and aim that I need to escape alive.
Day 62: I believe the chickens are infected. One will not stop pecking at my head, although it seems repulsed by the other end. I think the odor-eaters are finally finding their way out of my system. Either that, or I shouldn’t have eaten that can of jalapenos the other day. Notably, the zombies seem to have stopped moaning about brains, and are now incoherently mumbling about “health care” and some sort of bill. I may have to wrap the duct tape around my head to keep it from exploding.
Day 62: I had a good meal today. Ate the chicken I killed yesterday by accident. As I had no idea what it’s been surviving on, I’m taking quite a risk. Hopefully it has been eating Dr. Sholl’s odor destroyer super comfort insoles, and the zombie repelling effect will be preserved. However, in the event it does not happen, I am still attempting to create either an appropriate shotgun shell or an effective explosive device to protect myself against the new horde of zombies. While rummaging through the boxes in the garage, I found some Tabasco sauce. It has long gone bad, but my preliminary tests have shown that shotgun shells created with it are more accurate than those made with Cajun Catsup Hot Sauce. They should suffice. However, I still need to put together a proper explosive device.
Day 62: As the odor eaters are working their way through my system I have started to develop some terrible gas. On the plus side aside from the sound there is not any discernable odor to my flatulent. This has the double benefit of now providing me with the fuel source I needed to create my bomb. I have begun collecting the gas in zip lock baggies and will attempt to cobble some kind of metal container to pressurize the gas in. With my explosive charges from the MacGyver shotgun shell I should have everything I need to make this work. *PPPPFFFFFTTTTT* Ugh..
At first glance, I thought this contraption involved part of a three-hole punch. On further inspection, I’m still not sure that it doesn’t.
Why in the world would someone want to bolt their wife’s flat iron to a can of sliced jalepenos? Maybe they’re not hot enough I suppose.
somebody REALLY wanted thier nachos
I used to have one of those can openers. I’m not surprised the original spinner broke off. I’ve had better luck opening cans with a Swiss army knife.
Unfortunately, this person’s powers of observation and creativity were misdirected. Three hours later, he realized the electric can opener wasn’t broken after all. His power had been shut off.
In the whole history of the world, there has never been anyone who wanted nachos this badly. Even this guy gave up, or we would never have seen this picture.
GENERAL SURGEON ANNOUNCEMENT:
The Nacho CHEESE in this product has furmented and been found to repel not only Zombies but also sparkling vampires. Due to the rising threat of both we will be distributing cans from sun up to sun down at various undisclosed locations. You will need to provide your own can openers for we have run out of wrenches to operate them. YOUR ON YOUR OWN…….
Due to a recent raid on our stockpile of unmarked cans, we no longer will be able to distribute them. We do however have an excess amount of broken can openers (wrenches not included) we will leave random piles of them in the stock yards, please note some of the cow pies are boobie trapped. QUERY: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY HOT WATER HEATER????
My god! it’s another human! I thought I was the last one left!
Ratchet would have been more fun than the metric crescent wench. Air ratchet maybe even.
Shudder. I foresee a whole new range of Central Pneumatic air powered kitchen gadgets.
Another great title.
What this needs is a power drill, manual cranking is so last year.
Nice try. I think the cat will still recognize the sound.
What an idiot! That is not the tool of choice, a hammer and screwdriver, or a hatchet, or even 1 wrap of detcord would work better. As a last resort a pinch of C4 placed on bottom of can, place face over top of can, and detonate!
This is what we call “The Mythbusters” approach.
Actually, this is what we call “The suicidal Mythbusters approach”
What the hell were they thinking? Everybody knows Vice-grips (locking pliers) make a much better replacement handle for virtually everything, especially plumbing!
Hijole, can openers are for loosers, real men open cans with bare hands!
They should really be opening a can of nuts…
I’m pretty sure I have that can opener. If it’s the same kind I have, it cost you $6 at Safeway and honestly, thrift is a virtue, but I think you’re well past the point of diminishing returns here.
The Manly Man method of can opening:
1: Turn on stove.
2: Fill sauce pan 1/3 way with tap water.
3: Put can in water.
4: Place on burner for 30 minutes.
5: Call 911 should assistance be necessary.
I don’t see this going wrong at all.
I agree, step five is totally unnecessary…
There’s no need to use water, just put the can into fire and the whole job will be done much quicker.
The part “Fixer anon says, “Day 54. After consuming some of the contents of this can, its effects appear to be acting as a zombie repellent. They don’t seem to have any interest in eating my brain today.I suspect it is because my brain would taste like what I have been eating. Also, in spite of it being the middle of summer with no AC and not having showered for a week, I am not sweating nor do I smell. I also feel remarkably comfortable and relaxed. I now believe I have been eating Dr. Scholl’s odor destroyers super comfort insoles rather than the air pillow insoles.””
Makes me laugh a lot, it’s really great! Excellent!
You people have too much time….
Having finally read the entire zombie story (- had to frequently stop to wipe away tears!) I can honestly say that you guys have made my day a lot more fun! Thanks – classic thread!
I just think someone should continue the thread…
I would, but I’m really not that creative. It took me quite some time to come up with my version for day 62…
C’mon, people! We can do it!
Me too! I tried reading the entire story out loud to my zombie-infatuated daughter, but had to stop so often to wipe away tears and catch my breath that she ended up finishing it herself!
DAY 65: I took several of the cans from the nacho cheese, lined the lids with rubber from an old innertube and poked a hole in the lid and a hole on the side near the bottom. I attached a tube in the lower hole and a tube and funnel to the top hole. To the lower tube I inserted it into a resealed tomato soup can and inserted a key from some old sardines with a flint attached, I am not saying what i did in the funnel but after finding some cans of rancid chili beans in the basement I finally worked up enough gas to fill 10 of the tomato soup cans. Unfortunatly I have a habit of smoking and lost all my built up stores to an explosion that blew off half my kitchen and sadly I lost my unique refrigerator. On the bright side it took out 3 zombies but only one sparkling vampire. I have a suspicion that they are sure I am here……………………HELP!!!!!
DAY 65 ATTACHMENT: once I infused the big can with gas I then pushed the lid down to compress the gas…. then released it into the lower tube. Once the gas was in there I would have to pull the key out of the little can and throw it…. not as effective as a granade but 10 of them were sufficient to blow up half my kitchen……
DAY 67: Its my birthday so I decided to take a day off and invite the zombies in for some cake and ice cream but with an unplanned release of gas soon left them all hungering for each others left big toes and I escaped the basement and locked them down there, I have found that they are quite peaceful down there, and it could be a trick but I am going to check on them tomorrow.
Day 69: Finished destroying staircase yesterday, and immediately went upstairs to sleep on a bed for the first time in over two months. Boards over windows downstairs still holding. Water collection system on roof is working, but water supplies are consistently low. Canned goods are now the main worry: why the hell did i ever buy “potted meat”? Tried to occupy myself by taking some landscape shots and some zombie portraits; at the very least, i’m working up a good record of the outbreak. Surely someone will come soon to get me out of here. I’m important after all; i’ve covered wars, you know.
Day 71 after finding a old bottle of vodka from my party a couple days ago and an old sock i have been trying to decide between drinking it or makeing a bomb drinking it is winning so far
DAY 72: upon further investigation, the vodka seems to be counteracting the beans. I’m not producing gas anymore which poses a problem, stop drinking, or run out of fuel?
Day 73: It is simply amazing how I find all these random trash around the house. I found an ‘Elenco Radio and Electronics Set’ while destroying the staircase 4 days ago… it made me nostalgic about my childhood. Damn I need more vodka…
Day 74: The Vvodka… I need to get off it to produce more gas. I will attempt to construct a radio to contact Alcoholics Anonymous using the ‘Elenco Radio and Electronics Set’. The kiddies instruction manual does not detail how to make a radio transmitter though. All my efforts to survive may have been futile…
Day 75: I decided to check up on the calm zombies in the basement for lack of anything better to do. I noticed one of them wearing torn and bloodied engineer overalls marked “K-Love Christian Radio”… I really need to contact AA and this zombie just might have the answer to my problems.
wellllll *HICK* I think this is day ummmmmm oh $&#@!! I can’t remember what day is shapposed ta be but umm if anyones out thereeee i kinda ran outsa the gas fuel and ummm kinda need someone to bring more vadska………. *HICK* **SNORE**
Morning Day 73: Zombie’s at the fence have disappeared. The ones in the basement are all in the southwest corner facing the wall. Is there some instinct to go that direction? Is that where the other Zombies went?
I climbed up on top was is left of my roof and took a look around. Could not see Zombies. I duct taped some cloth to a tire iron for a better grip and went to investigate my next door neighbors house. He was a strange fellow and I’m just to curious. Also I need more water and canned food.
Evening Day 74: Just got back from cross the street neighbor’s house. Man, does anyone really know their neighbors anymore? Guy’s house was too neat and girly for a single man. From the window treatments to the vases of plastic flowers and scented candles. From the stage show art to the closet full of womens clothes. I knew the guy well enough. There were no women living there. He told me once he always went back to “her” place. Never let a woman know where he lived. Said it was asking for trouble when you’re only looking for a one night stand, as he winked and nudged me. Yeah, now I know. 1st neighbor was a child molester. 2nd one was a cross dresser. Lot’s of tools though. Also found a palm size 22 handgun. Lot’s of frozen dinners gone bad. Most of the canned stuff is fruit and vegetables. Well, I’ll make use of it. Still no signs of Zombies. The ones in the basement are trying to get out. I decided to shoot all but two of them. I named them Bert and Ernie.
Day 80: Bert & Ernie began reciting lines of Office Space upon hearing it through the living room floor. Have begun learning lines without my instruction. It is possible they are regaining intelligence. I fear they may become raptor smart and learn how to open the basement door. Feel I’ve wasted too much time teaching them movie scripts. Lost too many days. Need to get back to work on operation I’ve dubbed: The Manfartten Project.
Note: Scour garage for deadbolt.
Day 82: Got up the courage to search the neighborhood this morning. My first idea of Army camos went away after I realized running around dressed as a forest shrub in an urban environment is more conspicuous then street clothes. By noon I realized the whole town was virtually abandoned and looking a lot like the opening scene from “Day of the Dead”. Then it hit me: buffaloes. No, not real buffaloes; I remembered a Discovery channel show about the 4-legged beasts. Buffaloes will migrate from place to place and stay as long as the food is available. When the range had been picked clean, the woolen critters moved onto the next big meal. The zombie horde had probably exhausted the majority of their food supplies weeks ago in my tiny town and began their mass migration to a bigger & better food source. But that doesn’t mean they won’t be back…and hungrier than ever. The clock is running and now I’m forced to make the choice I’ve been putting off for months: head to the mountains or fortify my homestead here. Either way, this (temporary) lull gives me the opportunity to stock up on Dr. Scholl’s.
Day 83: It seems that Bert & Ernie have taken up a series of melodramatic hissy fits after I tried to coax them to start learning Clerks 2, claiming that it’s “Not in there contract”. I don’t know if they’re speaking of the “contract” that they wrote out on a scrap of bath room tissue and the back of a vodka label. Their demands are steep, but their strike can’t last too long, eventually they’ll get tired of the drama and get back to practice….then again. They have threatened with opening the basement door, granted I don’t think they could, but to be on the safe side I’m going to consider killing them. They’re too smart, and have been knawing at my head in the few hours, sure the bleeding stopped, but it’s very uncomfortable. Maybe (if I can find some) I’ll start watching karate movies and start jump kicking their heads off. Wouldn’t that be something?
Day 84:
I think I must have gotton ahold of some bad vadka on the 83… threatening to kick the heads off of Bert and Earnie… I would Never do such a thing, they are now my friends and only means of entertainment with out them I would go insane. Granted they are missing a few pieces from running into the southwest corner of the basement and randomly attacking each other for food…. (I’M not feeding them body parts).
I have found other zombies congregating outside when I watch certain shows on tv. They have gotton past the fence and watch tv through the window but when I try to look at them they mill around outside looking at the sky and trying their best to whistle and look nonchalant. I am not falling for it. I am going to try to capture a few and see if I can train them like Bert and Ernie, who knows I may have a movie cast on my hands, they can’t do any worse them some of the shows out there.
I have also discovered they have a wide variety of music tastes, it seems they really enjoy Charlie Daniels “Devil went down to Georgia”. They tried to dance to it but to many parts were falling off so they have settled down to trying to sing along and drinking a mysterious liquid out of old jugs they have unearthed. I do not think I will try to get this away from them, when they are in this state they become very hostile. I have set up a trap with old beer and pork rinds and see what happens…..
Day 85: The trap worked, I have gotten a hold of a jug of the mysterious liquid, it tastes similar to Vodka. I tinkered with that radio again today, it blew up. Seems I need medical supplies, running low on Scooby-Doo band-aids. Tomorrow I will check the local Rite-Aid.
There is a zombie in the attic, I don’t think this house is safe anymore. I can’t think of a name for him, but he seems friendly.
Day 86: I decided to name the zombie in the attic MR. T. He look similar. i think i might try and get him to the basement so i can make an a teams cast.
Day 87: Suddenly came to. Last thing I remember was sitting at the kitchen table, eating Twinkies and canned Ravioli with cajun catsup and thinking what an oddly pleasant combination. As my rooftop water containment system has yeilded nothing for the last 2 days, I had taken to drinking the mystery juice and I wonder if that was the cause of my blackout. What awoke me was the sound of a dog barking. When I was able to focus outside of my head again, there he was sitting and staring at the spoonful of ravioli that was halfway between the bowl and my mouth. He barked again and Bert and Ernie began clawing at the walls and Mr. T beat at the attic door. He ran toward the basement door, barked at it like a maniac, then peed on it. He did the same to the attic door, then came back to me. Everyone had shut up. It was eerily silent except for his breathing. I offered him the rest of the bowful of ravioli and he ate it, happily. I filled the bowl with the mystery juice, thinking he could probably use something to drink too, and he sniffed it, barked at it, and then toppled the dish, spilling the liquid onto the floor. He barked at me, as though chastising me, then ran out the open front door (How the hell did the door get open??!!) and behind the cross-dresser’s house. I closed the door, grabbed a nearby gun, and checked the house. In one of the back bedrooms, partially hidden by the bed, laid a zombie body, quiet and still. I pointed the gun in the vicinity of it’s head and moved closer to be sure it wasn’t a threat, but its head had somehow been melted into a greenish-bluish, cottage-cheese textured ooze that puddled at it’s neck. Sure that this one wasn’t getting back up any time soon, I closed the door and ran back to the kitchen to think. How did this all happen and I knew, saw, heard nothing?!! As I passed the basement door, I noticed that the puddle under the door was the same color as the blue-tinged mystery juice. WTF? Staring off trying to make sense of it all I saw, on the kitchen counter, that I had broken the can-opener.
Day 88: I now realize that the blue mystery juice is broken down zombie flesh. I’m alone now in a dark room freaking out. Am I becoming a zombie? How would I know? There is so many questions now. Do I Run? Do I stay? Well the good thing is I still have some Mac and Cheese Left. I also have made a new friend out of a kitchen rat. this way I have someone to talk to, and eat when my food run out!
Day 89: I awoke in puddle of urine, which I thought was me; All that freaking out the day before n al. I discovered it was me; But my lower half had turned into a zombie, so I discounted it as me. What do I do? What can I do to survive? I have tried crawling to the mac and cheese, but the zombie half is trying to crawl towards the rat, what can I do? I am at a complete loss!
i love it ….
all you guys doing this journal entry story are awesome beyond measure, IMMD.
Day 90: My arm is also turning into zombie but my feat looks like its turning back to human.
Day 92. 80% of body transformed into zombie flesh. upon re-watching I am Legend for possibly the 87th time, high school chemistry started coming back to me. Possibly there is a cure. I shall save the remaining mystery liquid as it is the key. Attempting to amble to neighbors houses, but progress is slow on these zombie legs. However, saw a stray dog, and realized I can sprint if I’m chasing a fresh meat. Tomorrow I shall hook the dog up to a leash and see if I can make it beyond the gated entrance of our neighborhood.
With my lower extremities gone to Zombie, without the urge to masturbate, I am surprisingly motivated to do stuff, while my will to live depletes day by day.
Today, I discovered the neighbors four doors down had a meth lab. This will work much better than my arrangement of garden hoses and empty 2 liter bottles of Cherry Dr. Pepper.
Not much chemical compounds to work with aside from what I can find in the neighbors meth lab.
Day 93
The meth lab,while it has helped step up gas processing, it starting to become more trouble than it’s worth. My lower zombie half knocked half of it over onto the floor when yet another stray dog wandered past, in an effort to chase it down. Bad legs. Now have a major-scale glass mess to clean up.
Fill my spare time lately dreaming up with new and interesting food combinations that not even my pregnant aunt could have imagined (Twinkies and ravioli.. who’d've thunk?) Note to self: Grab-It-Kwick tomorrow. Have gotten new inspired idea for Mars Bar Lasagne. And, as you might imagine, all these new meals, while not only delicious, are seriously stepping up gas. Wonder how I shall fill the days when my stomach hits zombie.
Explored a bit more today. Amazing the stuff you find out. For example, I did not know that the man at number 17A collected sissy-girl outfits. Frankly, could have done without knowing that one. He did also have a sizable stash of ammunition, so not a total loss there.
Bert and Ernie are now thoroughly on their way back to intelligence. Went down to the basement and caught them playing with my old baby toys, and seem to be enjoying themselves. Bert likes the Lamaze Light Up Larry, whereas Ernie is now permanently attached to the Leap Pad… Not sure what to expect when the batteries run out. Hopefully by then they will have eaten enough of each other. Zombie’s temper tantrums, I don’t imagine, would be pretty.
Day 96
Brain is zombie. Think is hard. All think is flesh. All want is flesh. Bert Ernie is eat. Taste is ass. Dog is not eat. Dog is run. Want but feet is glass. Feet not zombie. Legs not zombie. Arms zombie. Head zombie. Hope is me. Hope is heal is come. Now all think is eat. Not eat is pain. Head is pain all now. Brain is frenzy when see flesh. But feet is blood. Feet is pain. Brain is scream when not eat. Night eyes is strong. Lay in yard. Eat is rat squirrel possum. Eat is all. All is pain.
Day 100
Feet are more pain. Feet are no more glass. Not easy. Zombie hands not good for glass.
Mr. T not friend. He miss Bert and Ernie. Not like me eat. Mr T is eat. Not tasty as Bert Ernie. More hopes. Twinkies. Twinkies is eat?
Baby toys were fun. Then batteries died. I smash. Angry. Bored.
Attic had Playboy. Less bored. More hopes.