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Train Stop

Train Stop

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit a Kludge!


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Today we have a story for you. Started by Fixer Blackmoore, “Thomas however wasn’t paying attention to the track, and went down the wrong switch and into the poles. “OUCH!” cried Thomas, but it was too late – he had already smashed into the poles, and was hit by the live electric wires.”

Then Fixer Josh says, “Bust my buffers!” said Thomas.”

To which Fixer Blackmoore replies, “At the same time Edward was approaching for the adjacent track. “Get out of the way!” he screamed. He too crashed into the poles, Thomas and live wires. Then the coal caught a spark and started into flames.“Mr. Top Hat Is not going to like this” thought Thomas.”

Followed By Fixer Crack OS, “His suspicion was later confirmed when The Fat Controller himself arrived. “You have caused confusion and delay!” snapped Sir Topham. Meanwhile, Gordon was thundering down the line, unaware of the mess in front of him. “I am the fastest and greatest,” he said to himself proudly.”

With a startling conclusion by Fixer Alleycat, “Gordon did not see the mess in front of him and smashed into the back of Edward. Sir Topham Hat was very cross and ordered Thomas, Edward, and Gordon smelted down and turned into pinball machine parts. Upon further investigation, Bulgy, who had been waging war on the railroads for a number of years, was able to conspire with Harold, Bertie, and Cranky to have the poles placed in the middle of the tracks. Sir Topham Hat ordered the conspirators smelted down as well. With no modern transportation available anymore, The Island of Sodor’s economy collapsed. The island sunk into the sea a number of years later.”

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  1. ha ha… so what is this supposed to do… lolz…

  2. prsfan2008 says:

    I hate to say it, but this is not a kludge. I’m actually surprised it made it on to the site. This is clearly an old abondonded track (note the grass growing through it and the rusted tracks) that they just didn’t bother to pull up and built something else on top of it.

  3. NeoPhoenixTE says:

    Is it -really- that expensive to take those old tracks up and use the materials for new tracks?

    • Jon says:

      It costs more to pay someone to remove the track than to leave it where it is. You’ll find sections of unused, disconnected track like this in just about every railyard.

  4. interesting says:

    Nope, it’s not an abandonded track at all, because it doesn’t seem to be a real track at all. The track on the right is buried and the track in the middle is just lying on the ground.

    • A Random Pooka says:

      Are we looking at the same picture? There’s a buried track? And where the hell do you see a middle track? I see six sets of tracks, none of them buried. And the track in the middle for six sets of tracks? I guess it’s the gravel between tracks 3 and 4? Of course it’s just laying there on the ground! It /IS/ the ground :)

      • Stoneshop says:

        The tracks on the right aren’t buried, they have ballast, crushed stone or coarse gravel, packed between the sleepers, and you can see that the ballast slopes down on the side to the sand surface which the sleepers for the track in the middle are lying on top of. So the track down the middle of the photo has either been laid down but not packed with ballast before the need arose to put those poles there, requiring the removal of a few sleepers, or it’s actually been planned and laid like this, and further work is waiting for the removal of these poles. very likely carrying trusses for the overhead wires (look in the background).

  5. Jompe71 says:

    These where perfectly valid tracks (just not used to often) until a giant came by, felt like inhaling two Marlboros and putting the stump out in the sand.

  6. kyle says:

    which comes first the track ot the pole??

  7. Nick says:

    @kyle Obviously the rooster.

  8. Muff Master says:

    Conjunction junction, what’s you’re disfunction?

  9. Daniel says:

    If I had taken the photo, I would have polished the tracks to a shine on one side of the posts.

  10. kc/cc says:

    Um,lemme guess: Paul Bunyan? On stilts, right?

  11. Blackmoore says:

    Thomas however wasn’t paying attention to the track, and went down the wrong switch and into the poles. “OUCH!” cried Thomas, but it was too late – he had already smashed into the poles, and was hit by the live electric wires.

    • Josh says:

      “Bust my buffers!” said Thomas.

      • Blackmoore says:

        At the same time Edward was approaching for the adjacent track. “Get out of the way!” he screamed. He too crashed into the poles, Thomas and live wires. Then the coal caught a spark and started into flames.

        “Mr. Top Hat Is not going to like this” thought Thomas.

      • Crack OS says:

        His suspicion was later confirmed when The Fat Controller himself arrived. “You have caused confusion and delay!” snapped Sir Topham.
        Meanwhile, Gordon was thundering down the line, unaware of the mess in front of him. “I am the fastest and greatest,” he said to himself proudly.

      • Alleycat says:

        Gordon did not see the mess in front of him and smashed into the back of Edward. Sir Topham Hat was very cross and ordered Thomas, Edward, and Gordon smelted down and turned into pinball machine parts. Upon further investigation, Bulgy, who had been waging war on the railroads for a number of years, was able to conspire with Harold, Bertie, and Cranky to have the poles placed in the middle of the tracks. Sir Topham Hat ordered the conspirators smelted down as well. With no modern transportation available anymore, The Island of Sodor’s economy collapsed. The island sunk into the sea a number of years later.

        • heather says:

          The Internet, destroying my childhood one site at a time.

        • josoma says:

          The forgotten island of Sodor, now known widely as atlantis, was recently discovered by a team under the leadership of Dr. Robert Ballard. Upon finding this sunken island, the common idea that this was an ancient civilization was quickly rejected upon finding many old rusted pinball machines. One of which Said “I am the finest and greatest pinball machine”.

      • Spoo says:

        And the best bit is that this story was better than anything The Rev W Awdry every wrote.

      • Becky says:

        Parents everywhere rejoiced.

    • TheAntiCat says:

      This whole thread was a hysterical! LOL

    • LOL says:

      toddlers everywhere cried not realizing this was a positive improvement to their childhood

  12. nasty_mist says:

    Choo Choo!!! Next stop, Death!

  13. Sticky says:

    Someone wasn’t trained in proper pole placement.

  14. Nobody says:

    I think there is a big court battle between the Railroad and the Electric company over the Right of Way. I wonder who will win.

  15. waldo says:

    Looks like two different “shovel ready” federal projects at odds with each other.

  16. Sarkasm says:

    *in a Far West bandit accent*
    Okay Billy. I’m gonna tell ya this one mor’ time. When we rob a train, we place the poles horizontally on the tracks. Got it?

  17. Greg says:

    Hi, we’re from the government and we’re here to help you.

  18. Alleycat says:

    When trains race this is the track where the pole-sitter starts

  19. unknown says:

    And then the Wile E Coyote placed poles to stop the roadrunners train heading to kludgeville.

  20. tapirzo says:

    this might just be from Romania

  21. TCB says:

    I guess the train can’t get “nailed” by engine sludge…

  22. cipher_nemo says:

    As most others said, it’s not a kludge. This is a “fallen flaga” (abandoned tracks). The people who installed to poles did a nice job in taking the two ties (supports) out to make room. Where’s the humor? Fail.

    • Daniel says:

      Of course they are abandoned tracks. There’s a post right in the middle of them. How are the trains supposed to pass?

      • cipher_nemo says:

        You do realize one sentence of your post doesn’t match the other? lol. One of these things is not like the other… sing it with me! Abandoned = no trains on those tracks anymore. ;)

  23. cipher_nemo says:

    “fallen flag”… typo

  24. coyoteman says:

    Looks like concrete ties. Strange that they would be used with such light rail.

    • Stoneshop says:

      They _are_ concrete ties. And it’s perfectly valid to use them with light rail for any number of reasons.

      • BigMal27 says:

        Minneapolis, Minnesota: Concrete ties on the “light rail transit” line, almost completely end-to-end.

        I rode it opening day, and enjoy a ride whenever I’m there and get the chance. Don’t know who built/assembled the track but the trains are a variant of Bombardier Flexity Swift (low-floor) with integral snowplow.

  25. notanengineer says:

    Ok, its abandoned, out-of-order tracks. But where TF was this pic taken (I think europe, as it seems to be europe standard tracks (1435mm between the rails))?! I can deny that it wasn’t taken in Germany, due to the electricity system. hmm.. :-O

  26. Elena says:

    Hahahahahahaha…I thought I was seeing double for some reasons but I can see it clearly now! It’s CFR ROMANIA! hahahahahaha

  27. Joe doesn't know says:

    mystery of the train that was ‘delayed’ for 6 years: solved

  28. Jesternario says:

    When poles decide to do love suicides, it isn’t pretty for anyone involved…

  29. Quark says:

    In a ground-breaking international trade agreement, foreign train drivers were allowed to transport cargo trains across the border, up to an agreed boundary point, where the goods would then be transferred to a locally driven carriages.

  30. Dyslexic Dragon says:

    Looks like some Polish railways.

  31. Todd Barnhart says:

    “As long as the train hits 88 miles an hour and those poles give us 1.21 gigawatts of electricity, we don’t need anymore track!” Dr. Emmett Brown

  32. Joyce says:

    OMG. I have a two year old boy. The story totally made sense to me.

  33. Slongpoo says:

    easily the best story ever

  34. steph says:

    its amazing how much so many grown adults know about thomas the tank engine

  35. Second Mouse says:

    Somewhere, someplace, a permit for this was approved.

  36. Devilcat says:

    its can be only in Russia!!!!

  37. Only Doc Brown’s ‘Jules Verne Train’ can travel on this track when timed right.

  38. just another person commenting on how much you FAILED says:

    this.is.a.sign.

    that the world is coming to a end
    :(


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