The internet converges in mysterious ways. You guys loved the cell phone kludge from earlier this week and I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with a new photoshop contest for you guys. Then an idea struck me like lightning…
…or like a busboy stealing my phone that I accidentally left on the table when me and family went out to eat, using it to call Guatemala several times and charge a lot of Spanish ring tones to my account. >.> Whichever. Long story short, the threat of calling the cops and deportation was not worth a shiny new phone and it magically “was found” under a table the next night. Damn tables, making international calls on my husband’s dime.
Anyway, contest! I want you guys to fix my phone. Here, I have a visual aid.
Kludge this for me with anti-theft technology. Or maybe a “HEY STUPID YOU LEFT ME ON THE TABLE AGAIN” alert system. Anything really. Because if I lose this thing again, my husband is not making hilariously bad threats in Spanish to my voice mail…
Please email your helpful, hilarious or judgmental shops to thereifixedit+contest@gmail.com and put Phone Contest somewhere in the subject line. Winner(s) will be announced sometime Monday afternoon and all entries will be put into a gallery later that day. Good luck and good shopping!
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Copy & paste this:
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-483xl95pmUiaY.gif\")
Duck tape a mouse trap to the back. When you have to set it down, set the trap.
And yes, I mean “duck” tape, not “duct” tape. The actual Duck brand is so much better…
Oye chica, no te pongas asi. Gran cosa, se te quedo el telefono y el tipo del restaurante lo uso para hacer llanada a su familia y a sus panas en Guatemala. Eso le pasa a cualquiera, si no es nada. Mira que el otro dia a mi se me quedo la camara en un restaurante y volvimos a la hora a buscarla y nos la dieron con su carita de “tranquilo chico, aqui esta la camara, lo estabamos esperando, no se preocupe usted”. Al mes, cuando volvimos del viaje y revelamos las fotos (si, eso fue cuando las camaras eran de rollito y no digitales) pues ahi habiam un monton de fotos de esta tipa que era mas fea que pegarle a la mama el dia de las madres. Mis esposa y yo estuvimos media hora tratando de adivinar que demontres era lo que estabamos viendo. En cualquier caso, ya lo tienes de vuelta. Puedes hacer como la foto de la chinita del otro dia que tenia el telefono pegado a la oreja con un sosten que ni con magia era de ella porque era como veinte tallas mas grandes. Asi mismo puedes hacer. To lo pegas con el sosten y mas nunca se te cae “debajo de otra mesa”. Mira que esas mesas que hacen llamadas son medio locas.
What?
Daniel. Just thought you’d like to see the what a garbled mess the internet Spanish to English translator made of your paragraph.
Hey girl, do not get well. Big deal, you stay the phone and type of restaurant I use to make plain to his family and panas in Guatemala. That happens to anybody, it’s nothing. Watch the other day that I left my camera in a restaurant and when we returned to find her and we gave it to his face of “quiet boy, here is the camera, we’re waiting, do not worry you.” A month later, when we returned from the trip and disclose the photos (yes, that was when the cameras were not digital and roll) because there Tell me a bunch of new pictures of this chick that was uglier than the breast beating of mothers day . My wife and I spent half an hour trying to figure that Gosh was what we were seeing. In any case, as we have it back. You can do like the picture of sweety other day that had the phone glued to his ear with a bra and with her magic was because he was about twenty sizes too large. Likewise you can do. To paste it with the support and never more you drop “under another table. Look how they make calls these tables are half crazy.
That’s not what I said. Except for the terribly inappropriate parts. I did mean to say those.
btw, “demontres” to “Gosh” is the best translation I have seen in a long time. Huge translation win in an ocean of fail. Just pointing it out for the other Rican TIFIers around here.
What does the above mentioned mean? O.o
Google translators fail
Ha-ha, just move to Russia. 99,5% of people do not know ANYTHING about AT&T here, and an AT&T phone is as useless as a toy cellular for babies here. Thieves and pickpockets would just think this one were a Chinese crap with hard-to-find accessories, so they wouldn’t mess with it. This protection level would be really EPIC, and without any cludges, LOL.
Duuuuuuuude they make these already for like like £10, you attach one part to your phone and the other to a keyring, purse, or beltloop and the alarm goes off if you get too far away.
This is a wholesale site but its the first one I found: http://www.1topstore.com/product_info.php?products_id=5814&¤cy=USD
Wanna fail:
A friend of mine named Kyle used voice recognition software.
He said: September 29th, 2008.
It typed: My cat is not on attack.
I’ve noticed my software is about as retarded. “My cat is not on attack.” WIN
How does it know that you’ve “left it behind”?
The real solution is that it powers itself off after a given time and doesn’t turn itself on until you input the magic decoder ring code that only you know. (Read, password. A *really* *strong* password).
Most mobile devices offer that option. Most users enable it because it’s confusing.
Does yours already offer that option? Yeah, it’s a job to learn that behavior. But … invest the time into learning how to secure your mobile device!
Before your phone goes missing [again]:
contact your telephone service provider to block international roaming, international long distance, mobile purchases and downloads. If you require these features later, these options can be added or restored within minutes by the agents for VERIFIED callers.
also
PIN lock the keypad to prevent unauthorized use.
For further info:
Just dial 611 from your mobile BEFORE it goes missing.
If you are past that stage, and it’s already been lost or stolen:
contact your service provider from another phone to suspend the line.
For AT&T call 1 800 331 0500 Customer service.
Consider insuring your phone.
Hope this helps.
Auntie A
Okay, everybody. Thanks to Auntie A the contest is off. You can all go home now.
“All fire extinguishers should be tested 10 days BEFORE the fire.”
I marked this so can return and use when AT&T completes my transition from Alltel.
Get you one of those small dog harnesses (that wrap around the dog instead if its neck) and a leash!! Wrap the harness around your phone leash it to your arm, belt loop, or purse!!
or….
if you’re not comfortable with the leash you could always make yourself a screen saver that says I masterbate frequently while I sex text!! They are sure to throw it down and run to wash their hands!!!
Except for the perverts.
You probably delete all comments that say that this is a really lame try of “hidden” advertisement, don`t you?
Im not sure, but I think you messed up on the first sentence of the second paragraph, I think it should say “…or like a busboy stealing my phone that I accidentally left on the table when my family and I went out to eat,” if Im wrong you can fine me 1,000,000 internets..
For me, the need is usually to find phone in house when battery is dead, so won’t ring (even if I had another phone, which I don’t) or sound any alarm.
I keep Saying I’m going to buy a locator, but when I have the phone near me, there’s no need. Until the next time….